Hello from the Other Side

Sorry if, by the title alone, this looks like it's going to be a sappy ode to a lost love. It is not. Rather it is list of things I did that I think helped me in passing the Bar. I call them Barhacks.

New favorite number: 948

Remember when I wrote about going on this journey called the Bar Review? Where I got all sappy and wrote a short message (considering how long my How I Met Your Mother blog entries are) for my family and friends? I wrote that I'd see them on the other side.

Well, here I am, 11 months later, writing from the other side--which doesn't feel any different, mind you. I have yet to make a straight face when people call me "Attorney." Baby steps.

Surreal.

I will go straight to the point and say it, preparing for the Bar Exams was difficult. It entailed a different level of discipline and focus. To study for 8 hours a day, six days a week for four months. Taking the Exams in four Sundays, from sun up to sun down, was mentally and emotionally taxing, It was a necessary experience I would rather not go through again.

Here are 6 Things That Helped Me Pass the Bar:

1.) I studied my ass off. I created a study calendar based on the time I had (four months excluding November), my strengths and weaknesses, weight of a subject/exam, and stuck to it, regardless of the pace of my classmates and friends. I committed myself to do two readings for every Bar subject, wrote important concepts on index cards, created an expanded outline based on the Bar syllabi, and welcomed the harsh yet helpful comments from my Mock Bar coaches.

Thank you Blessings for the free calendar!

I think the key here is knowing what style of studying works for you and committing to that, regardless of other people's pace. Do not change textbooks (or, god forbid, add more) mid-way through just because your Bartaker friend read it. I figured early on that listening to Bar review lectures were not helpful to me at all so I stopped going to them and just read the books, codals and review materials.

2.) I like listening to music while studying so I created a playlist (called astronaut food) of songs I can listen to without affecting my concentration. During the actual Bar weekends, I created a novembar mornings playlist which both calmed me and inspired me to do my best. It also helped my concentration that I had Spotify Premium so I could listen to the songs without the distraction of being connected to the Internet.

3.) I surrounded myself with people I genuinely found comfort in--parents, siblings, my neutrals, sorority sisters. I avoided all unnecessary causes of stress (clingy friends, emotional situations etc.). I went home on weekends whenever studying took its toll, and loaded up on unlimited hugs and words of encouragement from my mother. And on weekends that my schedule did not permit going home to Laguna, I had dinners with my best friends.

Weekend dinners at Happy Thai were instant pick-me-uppers. #neutrals

It also helped that I willed myself to not get into anything serious heart-wise. A simple law school crush was enough. Some people I know did the complete opposite and they passed, too. It varies, really. Just make sure you do not lose focus.

4) I removed the Facebook app and Facebook messenger app on all my mobile devices because browsing Facebook was time-consuming. I retained my Twitter and Instagram accounts because they're not as demanding as the former. I also set simple rules for myself (i.e., I won't check Twitter until I read x number of pages) and followed them. Ultimately, it's all about moderation and discipline.

5) I was obsessed with Gilas Pilipinas 3.0--from their games in Estonia to the Jones Cup to Changsha. I scheduled my study time around their games. I read all entries in Carlo Pamintuan's Gilas Diary. I even trash talked with a Lebanese guy on Instagram because he was being a d*** about Gilas having "Americans" in Jayson Castro William, Gabe Norwood and Matt Ganuelas Rosser. 🙄 Rain or Shine games were also marked on my calendar.

Basically, basketball provided an enjoyable yet not too time-consuming activity in between my reading schedules. I also had the Song triplets and Dougie the Shih Tzu to obsess over without going overboard. Do things that make you happy. But always in moderation.

6.) I found solace in my Faith. I prayed whenever I needed, wanted to. I prayed when I lost focus and strayed from my plans. I prayed when I questioned why I was subjecting myself to that level of torture. I prayed to find strength to continue aspiring for greater things, higher things.

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These are the Six #BarHacks that worked for me. It may vary from person to person. The key is to discover what techniques (hacks, if you may) work for you (and stick to that) and what doesn't (and do not ever use them).

Finally, at the risk of sounding purist about it, I am firm believer that the years you spent in law school should have prepared you for the Bar Examinations. To be honest, most of what I answered in the Bar I remembered because of the classes I took (i.e., I remembered certain concepts because my professor got sooo mad when no one from our class could answer her question). I took difficult subjects under challenging professors even if there are no guarantees that I would get high grades. Take no short-cuts. 

Thank You, Law School Crush

My giddiness and utter surprise in passing the Bar has subsided. I guess now is the best time to write about one of my personal MVPs during the Bar Examinations and, most especially, during the dreaded waiting period.

The pressure of the Bar Exams—before, during and after—can make underbars do crazy things—things one, based on his/her characteristics, would not do on usual days.

I have too many questions, and places to go

To say that the Bar Exams drove me crazy is an understatement. It was an important part of my Timeline, my Happines Roadmap. Not passing it would have dire consequences—one of which is going through Bar review again, which is, quite frankly, something I think I would not have the patience or diligence for.

There are too many options, far too many unknowns

In those crazy times, I did the unexpected: I obsessed over a simple law school crush. I spoke gushed about it to close friends. I tweeted about it as often (albeit mysteriously) as I could. It was a source of amusement, not only for my tired, panicking soul but also to my friends who knew me as a private, introverted person.

You make my crazy feel normal, every time

Although I decided not to have any distractions from review (except for Gilas Pilipinas or Rain or Shine games I incorporated into my schedule), I was happy to have a source of . . . kilig (indirect English translation: fluff haha). 

You make the bottom less deep

Unbeknownst to you, that short good luck text you sent on the first weekend of the Exams (after I tweeted that I wanted a good luck text; it remains a mystery to me if you read that tweet or it was just a happy coincidence) and that short hug we shared on the last Sunday calmed my then-weary, worried soul. For some, words and a hug sound lame (because hello it's 2016) but to me these acts meant the world. The hope it sparked and kept aflame was enough for me to power through the difficulties and look beyond Novembar.

You make my weakness less weak

After the Bar Exams, with nothing to do but wait, I bought you a gift—a simple thank-you gift of sorts. But I chickened out at the last minute because I had no proper (read: logical) reason to give you a gift and decided to keep it for myself. But the Universe conspired with the gods and gave me a reason to send it to you, sort of as a hand-me-down item, which perfectly downplayed the whole I-bought-you-a-gift-because-I-liked-you thing. It was perfect. You were happy to get something second-hand, not knowing I bought it for you, all along. I was happy that you were happy. That gift was followed by another.

You make it easy to try

At this point one of my closest friends cautioned me to think twice about the effort I was putting in this, and the effort that you weren't. My friend didn't know that I wasn't expecting you to make any effort as I treated the whole thing (me giving you gifts) as a way for me to be in control of something in my life—because the Bar results were clearly out of my hands by then.

You make the darkness less dark

Me obsessing over you—liking almost all your photos, checking all the albums you posted on Facebook, engaging you in virtual conversations, wanting to know how your day went (even if it often appeared that you were too busy to reply to Facebook private messages) provided me with the necessary distraction from the four months of waiting. 

You make the waiting feel shorter

Now, that the results are out, with nothing to be distracted from, I find myself wondering about the future of this so-called obsession. Is this the end of a somewhat lucky admiration? Or the beginning of more complicated things to come? You, master of subtlety and mystery, give me little to no clue.

Regardless of where we will (or won't) go from here, I want to say thank you, even indirectly (on the off-chance you'll read this and know that it is you I am writing about), for keeping my heart busy when my mind was going crazy. Thank you for making my heart skip a few beats just enough for it not to be overwhelmed by the Bar-induced anxiety.

You are the who . . . this is the why

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Italicized lines are from the song This is Why I Need You by Jesse Ruben.