Wednesday, June 6, 2012

What the hell are regionals?: 15 Glee Club Truths

Community's "Regional Holiday Music" (Season 3 Episode 10) was like a parody of Glee. In approximately 21 minutes Community was able to establish "facts" (truths if you may) about glee clubs that Glee has established (or tried, trying to) in its three-season run (so far).

1. Glee clubs makes the holidays more... gleeful, especially Christmas. Also, glee clubs must have at least one member who wears a Santa costume.

Check out at Annie and Abed's hand-holding. Hmm.

2. In order for glee clubs to "succeed", they must have a foe who either (1) rats them out to the "authorities" for copyright infringement, or (2) instructs her Cheerios to ruin the glee club's purple pianos around school.

The authority that is Chang.

3. Glee club instructors are manipulative. Mr. Rad manipulated Abed the same way Mr. Schue manipulated Finn to join glee club.

Almost always, glee club instructors hide their manipulative nature in order to lure "poor" kids to join their club.

4. Glee club instructors always wear vests.

Seriously, what's with glee club instructors and vests?! #GleeMysteries

5. It takes one lonely person to see the "light" that is glee club. For Glee it was, of course, Rachel Berry; for Community, it was Abed.

I was surprised Danny Pudi can sing--not like Rachel Berry but a little better than Mike Chang.

6. Glee clubs must rap, or at least have "resident" rappers. For Glee's New Directions the residents were Artie, Blaine and Santana, with Mr. Schue and Finn doing occasional hideous rapping; for Community, it was Troy and Abed.

Troy and Abed's rap was so much better than all of the Glee kids' rap performances.

7. Glee clubs must do mash-ups. 

This is the Golden Rule of glee clubs.

8. In glee clubs, there's always someone who joins it with intentions to ruin it from within. For Glee, it was Quinn, Santana and Brittany; for Community it was Troy.

Troy: Jehovah's Most Secret Witness

9. Glee clubs must have members who wear sweaters. In Glee, it was Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Artie and, for a time, Santana, Brittany and Quinn. In Community's case, almost everyone wore a sweater.

The Glee kids' sweaters are better than Community's.

10. Glee clubs must have a piano guy who has sandy, blonde hair and wears glasses, whose presence is never intended to be felt. Sometimes, in Glee's case, the piano guy is referred to.

At least the Glee guy has a name, Brad.

11. Glee clubs must perform a number that involves a disco ball at least once.

It's not how big your (disco) ball is but how you use it.

12. Glee clubs must have at least one tone-deaf member who gets rejected (or at least shouted at) by the glee club instructor himself.

The Battle of the Tone-Deafs: Britta vs. Sugar

13. In glee club, the member who is of African-American origin black must sing with a choir--preferrably a religious song. For Glee is was Mercedes; for Community it was Shirley.

LOL at the curly-haired girl on Shirley's left.

14. A tall jock, who initially hated glee club, must lead the glee club. For Glee, it was Finn; for Community, it was Jeff.

LOL at Mr. Schue's reaction to Finn's speech. 

15. Glee clubs must perform at the cafeteria to attract new members, and must have three-level seats in their "choir rooms."

Seeing these similarities which can't be coincidences, I knew Regional Holiday Music is a parody of Glee.

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