I'm trying my best not to freak out about the UP LAE tomorrow at 7:30am but, just as I was about to sleep, I see a batchmate's (a PolSci student) Facebook status saying something about LAE and laing. Haha Now I'm freaking out.
But srsly, I think I'm going to flunk this one. 1) I haven't studied well enough (like the others); 2) people say it's like the UPCAT only tougher. Well, guess what I technically didn't pass the UPCAT. So.. and 3) I'm not so hell-bent on spending another four years of my life being shouted at (because from what I hear, that's what they are experiencing there--at Malcolm Hall).
Hay. Buti na lang I'm too tired to think too much.
Thank you my ever-loyal "companions" Scrubs, Bones, and Glee. :)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
HELL YEAH
HELL YEAH
17 November 2009
No matter how hard I try to imagine winning over the would-be make-or-break moments of my life, and no matter how badly I wanted to react with instinct and irrationality (and everything else that is needed to do that one thing I wanted), I think it will all boil down to one thing: doing what is right.
I came this l l close to one of those make-or-break scenarios I've thought about... about a few weeks ago. To cut the long and controversial story short, when the opportunity presented itself in the most mundane and straightforward way than I could have imagined, I chose the right way.
In this post be reminded that:
Right = safe
In that crucial moment when I was asked in front of the most intimate friends to do that one thing I would have loved to try--no one else knew how badly I wanted to say "yes" easily but I had to act unfazed, of course--I said, "No." Well not a verbatim "no" but something to that effect. Why? Because during those crucial moments of hold-your-breath two-second silence, my mind fastforwarded to the next minute, the next day, and hell, even the next months if I did reply "Hell yeah" to that question. I thought of the consequences, all negative of course to convince myself it wasn't worth it, that a "yes" would have brought to everyone--considering the "haziness" of everything, of everyone.
To say more about that make-or-break moment would be close to revealing its nature and the circumstance/situation that happened--and I'd rather not do that. Because really, as I think of it, even if I blog/rant about "emotional" and non-emotional moments in my life, I still TRY to maintain a tinge or a hint of vagueness. (See the Headlights and Deer series.)
Now, of course, I feel that "Sayang" feeling everybody has after turning their back on something that they have wanted for so long yet has to say "no" to just because. But let me say this, if and when that moment presents itself in whatever manner possible/imaginable, I would definitely, without blinking, say, HELL YEAH. Just because.
17 November 2009
No matter how hard I try to imagine winning over the would-be make-or-break moments of my life, and no matter how badly I wanted to react with instinct and irrationality (and everything else that is needed to do that one thing I wanted), I think it will all boil down to one thing: doing what is right.
I came this l l close to one of those make-or-break scenarios I've thought about... about a few weeks ago. To cut the long and controversial story short, when the opportunity presented itself in the most mundane and straightforward way than I could have imagined, I chose the right way.
In this post be reminded that:
Right = safe
In that crucial moment when I was asked in front of the most intimate friends to do that one thing I would have loved to try--no one else knew how badly I wanted to say "yes" easily but I had to act unfazed, of course--I said, "No." Well not a verbatim "no" but something to that effect. Why? Because during those crucial moments of hold-your-breath two-second silence, my mind fastforwarded to the next minute, the next day, and hell, even the next months if I did reply "Hell yeah" to that question. I thought of the consequences, all negative of course to convince myself it wasn't worth it, that a "yes" would have brought to everyone--considering the "haziness" of everything, of everyone.
To say more about that make-or-break moment would be close to revealing its nature and the circumstance/situation that happened--and I'd rather not do that. Because really, as I think of it, even if I blog/rant about "emotional" and non-emotional moments in my life, I still TRY to maintain a tinge or a hint of vagueness. (See the Headlights and Deer series.)
Now, of course, I feel that "Sayang" feeling everybody has after turning their back on something that they have wanted for so long yet has to say "no" to just because. But let me say this, if and when that moment presents itself in whatever manner possible/imaginable, I would definitely, without blinking, say, HELL YEAH. Just because.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Parallel Universe
The idea of the existence of a parallel universe somewhat appealed to me.
Parallel universe. For some, it's a destination. A location. A specific place. A latitude and longitude. A specific part on the face of the Earth. For some, it is simply a state of mind. Ironically, the latter thinking is not simpler per se, in fact, it's more complicated than finding the physical location of a parallel universe--if there is one--but when one is contented with his/her state of mind, if one attains the peace he/she has been looking for, everything becomes simpler.
Siddharta Gautama/Gautama Buddha was right when he posited that, to end suffering is to end one's desire. When one desires nothing/no one, suffering will not be attained. This may seem too much simplification, but really, think about it. No desire, no disappointment, no suffering.
I think Richard (from The Beach, played by Leonardo DiCarpio) was right when he said something like... "I still believe in Paradise. But now I know it's not someplace you look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel in a moment in your life when you're part of something. And if you find that moment, it lasts forever."
To be honest, I think the geography/physical aspect of Paradise/Parallel Universe is important--and for some people, an inevitable characteristic in the assumption/imagination of its existence. One has to be physically isolated from what he/she was used to in order to feel the freedom and be free from the "shackles" of his/her usual way of living. I do not want to sound philosophical here but one has to feel this freedom before embracing something new. 'Cause I think, no matter how much we think about it, Paradise/Parallel Universe is way better than we imagine it to be.
The opportunity and the actuality of being part of something special--"that moment" that "lasts forever"--is hard to find. Hell, maybe some people die without experiencing it. But I do hope I will be not one of those people who miss out on this life-changing, life-lasting moment.
If I was to look back to the closest I got to achieving that near-Paradise or near-Parallel Universe experience, I think it's the whole Batanes practicum experience. In the summer of May 2009, I and twelve other blockmates flew to the northernmost island/province of Luzon, Batanes. It was a heavenly place. Too beautiful for words. The place's beauty can only justified by being there. For two weeks, we laughed, learned and lived miles away from our families, our comfort zones. There were laughs, tears, shouts, whispers and whatnots, but I think what made the whole experience near-Paradise was this.. What happened there, no matter how much we try to capture and preserve the moments (on camera, and in words. hell, even in our memories), will always be in our hearts.
Yes, that sounds too romanticized. But really, when we all came back from Batanes, all thirteen of us--a diverse group of individuals--we brought something with us. Something we cannot point our fingers to, but something that binds us together. I'd like to think that the whole experience made us closer to each other. We may not have much to say to each other when we pass each other in the halls, because some of us were not really friends, but when worse comes to worse, we all can reminisce that experience and smile and say, "Hay, I miss Batanes."
But like what Richard said, "We adapt. We carry on." We all did--though nothing "tragic" happened there like in the movie. We had to face the sad fact that no matter how much we clicked in Batanes, we're not really buddies or pals or lunchmates in Manila. We had different priorities and cliques. That no matter how much we loved that experience, we had to go back to what/who we were before that experience.
Maybe that was my near-Paradise/Parallel Universe experience, in the nearly two decades of my life.
Or maybe not.
I really don't know what this near-Paradise/Parallel Universe moment is. Maybe it has happened already. Or maybe it hasn't. Or maybe, just maybe, it's currently happening. I just want to be aware when it does.
Parallel universe. For some, it's a destination. A location. A specific place. A latitude and longitude. A specific part on the face of the Earth. For some, it is simply a state of mind. Ironically, the latter thinking is not simpler per se, in fact, it's more complicated than finding the physical location of a parallel universe--if there is one--but when one is contented with his/her state of mind, if one attains the peace he/she has been looking for, everything becomes simpler.
Siddharta Gautama/Gautama Buddha was right when he posited that, to end suffering is to end one's desire. When one desires nothing/no one, suffering will not be attained. This may seem too much simplification, but really, think about it. No desire, no disappointment, no suffering.
I think Richard (from The Beach, played by Leonardo DiCarpio) was right when he said something like... "I still believe in Paradise. But now I know it's not someplace you look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel in a moment in your life when you're part of something. And if you find that moment, it lasts forever."
To be honest, I think the geography/physical aspect of Paradise/Parallel Universe is important--and for some people, an inevitable characteristic in the assumption/imagination of its existence. One has to be physically isolated from what he/she was used to in order to feel the freedom and be free from the "shackles" of his/her usual way of living. I do not want to sound philosophical here but one has to feel this freedom before embracing something new. 'Cause I think, no matter how much we think about it, Paradise/Parallel Universe is way better than we imagine it to be.
The opportunity and the actuality of being part of something special--"that moment" that "lasts forever"--is hard to find. Hell, maybe some people die without experiencing it. But I do hope I will be not one of those people who miss out on this life-changing, life-lasting moment.
If I was to look back to the closest I got to achieving that near-Paradise or near-Parallel Universe experience, I think it's the whole Batanes practicum experience. In the summer of May 2009, I and twelve other blockmates flew to the northernmost island/province of Luzon, Batanes. It was a heavenly place. Too beautiful for words. The place's beauty can only justified by being there. For two weeks, we laughed, learned and lived miles away from our families, our comfort zones. There were laughs, tears, shouts, whispers and whatnots, but I think what made the whole experience near-Paradise was this.. What happened there, no matter how much we try to capture and preserve the moments (on camera, and in words. hell, even in our memories), will always be in our hearts.
Yes, that sounds too romanticized. But really, when we all came back from Batanes, all thirteen of us--a diverse group of individuals--we brought something with us. Something we cannot point our fingers to, but something that binds us together. I'd like to think that the whole experience made us closer to each other. We may not have much to say to each other when we pass each other in the halls, because some of us were not really friends, but when worse comes to worse, we all can reminisce that experience and smile and say, "Hay, I miss Batanes."
But like what Richard said, "We adapt. We carry on." We all did--though nothing "tragic" happened there like in the movie. We had to face the sad fact that no matter how much we clicked in Batanes, we're not really buddies or pals or lunchmates in Manila. We had different priorities and cliques. That no matter how much we loved that experience, we had to go back to what/who we were before that experience.
Maybe that was my near-Paradise/Parallel Universe experience, in the nearly two decades of my life.
Or maybe not.
I really don't know what this near-Paradise/Parallel Universe moment is. Maybe it has happened already. Or maybe it hasn't. Or maybe, just maybe, it's currently happening. I just want to be aware when it does.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Scrubs: Yes I took the hit*
Here's a hint: If I like someone/something, I quote it. Books, authors, songs, TV shows, a famous/infamous personality, celebrity, politician, whatever. If I quote he/she/it, then there's a good chance that I like it/him/her/them.
The Big Bang Theory
How I Met Your Mother
Chuck
Dr. Thirteen (House)
Bones--but not too much because there's not much to quote anyway
Chuck Palahniuk--really, this guy is clever with lines
Jonathan Lethem
Chinua Achebe
Mohsin Hamid
J. P. Donleavy
Leonardo DiCaprio
Nelson DeMille--I quoted this guy and I won P1000worth of Globe load (The first time I really won at something that involved luck). I didn't claim the load though. Haha. The line: The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you're finished. Clever, huh.
Barbie Almalbis-Honasan
Gino dela Paz
William Shakespeare
Colin Hay
Alexi Murdoch
Hootie & the Blowfish
Joshua Radin
Tristan Prettyman
Jason Mraz
Jason Mraz again
Snow Patrol
and so on...
I'm really into Scrubs now, since the abovementiond series/shows I'm into are either ongoing--which means I only get to see an episode a week--or are in hiatus/break. I am what some may call a late-bloomer when it comes to liking/loving Scrubs (hey it's already going on its 9th season when I picked it up) but you see, the saying/cliche "better late than never" not only applies to school/work stuff. Just to give you an idea how "late" of a bloomer I am in terms of series and TV shows, I haven't watched a single complete episode of Friends. Yes, in all its 10-season run, I haven't watched a full episode--though I am aware who the characters are, just not to be baduy or on the receiving end of the rhetorical yet degarding question, "What rock have you been hiding under?"
So anyway, back to quoting. Here's a good line from JD (aka Dr. John Michael Dorian) of Scrubs:
5) I love the music! Joshua Radin! Colin Hay! and a lot of other wonderful stuff I haven't heard of but am loving/will love. :) I realized I can't--since, uh, How I Met Your Mother--love a TV show/series without a good soundtrack. Well, The Big Bang Theory technically doesn't have a soundtrack but having Barenaked Ladies sing your opening theme just about makes up for it.
------------------------------
*This is not originally a QNBS post but it can, sort of, be considered as such. Except for the possibility of me choosing it as the best since I've finished watching all of it.
The Big Bang Theory
How I Met Your Mother
Chuck
Dr. Thirteen (House)
Bones--but not too much because there's not much to quote anyway
Chuck Palahniuk--really, this guy is clever with lines
Jonathan Lethem
Chinua Achebe
Mohsin Hamid
J. P. Donleavy
Leonardo DiCaprio
Nelson DeMille--I quoted this guy and I won P1000worth of Globe load (The first time I really won at something that involved luck). I didn't claim the load though. Haha. The line: The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you're finished. Clever, huh.
Barbie Almalbis-Honasan
Gino dela Paz
William Shakespeare
Colin Hay
Alexi Murdoch
Hootie & the Blowfish
Joshua Radin
Tristan Prettyman
Jason Mraz
Jason Mraz again
Snow Patrol
and so on...
I'm really into Scrubs now, since the abovementiond series/shows I'm into are either ongoing--which means I only get to see an episode a week--or are in hiatus/break. I am what some may call a late-bloomer when it comes to liking/loving Scrubs (hey it's already going on its 9th season when I picked it up) but you see, the saying/cliche "better late than never" not only applies to school/work stuff. Just to give you an idea how "late" of a bloomer I am in terms of series and TV shows, I haven't watched a single complete episode of Friends. Yes, in all its 10-season run, I haven't watched a full episode--though I am aware who the characters are, just not to be baduy or on the receiving end of the rhetorical yet degarding question, "What rock have you been hiding under?"
So anyway, back to quoting. Here's a good line from JD (aka Dr. John Michael Dorian) of Scrubs:
"Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends',
if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit."
Okay. So maybe one of the reasons why I like/love Scrubs is because I'm a romantic sap and all that. Maybe. But really. I like the show because:
1) It's less than 30mins an episode. I barely notice the time I spent just watching it. You see, I have a very short attention span. Where was I? Hahaha joke lang. But really, time constraints me to a particular show/series. Time--the same reason why I got hooked on The Big Bang Theory (and other "short-episoded" series) and not, say, Fringe (look, I've had a crush on Joshua Jackson ever since he was Pacey but really, that show's longgggggg), and just recently, House (which I hope to marathon-through once Season6 is finished :D).
2) It's funny. Not The-Big-Bang-Theory funny but the How-I-Met-Your-Mother-meets-House-meets-Chuck funny. Yeah. That's three of my favorite shows rolled into one. :)
3) The storyline/characters are great. Really. I don't particularly love/like anyone to separate themselves from the pack--like I do Barney or Marshall or Zack or Bones or Chuck or Raj or Sheldon... you get my point do you? I like it that I'm not liking a particular character to single him/her out--because sometimes that could be a bad thing because you're playing favorites and taking sides. I just love (and hate) them all! Hahaha
4) The guest stars are great! I'm watching Season2 (out of the eight that's already shown, season 9's coming up this December 2009) and they've already guested Tom Cavanaugh(!), Colin Hay (yeah, they even guested one of my favorite singers, see what I mean?) Brendan Fraser, David Copperfield, Sarah Lancaster (yeah, Ellie Bartowski!), Sean Hayes (Jack of Will & Grace, as a guy--as in not gay, sorry nasanay lang--medical intern), Heather Locklear, Ryan Reynolds, Richard Kind (you may not know the name but believe me you've seen the guy/that face in some movie/TV show from way back you can't remember exactly), and others you may have seen somewhere but I haven't. Haha
5) I love the music! Joshua Radin! Colin Hay! and a lot of other wonderful stuff I haven't heard of but am loving/will love. :) I realized I can't--since, uh, How I Met Your Mother--love a TV show/series without a good soundtrack. Well, The Big Bang Theory technically doesn't have a soundtrack but having Barenaked Ladies sing your opening theme just about makes up for it.
------------------------------
*This is not originally a QNBS post but it can, sort of, be considered as such. Except for the possibility of me choosing it as the best since I've finished watching all of it.
**Btw, one of the reasons (who knows, maybe it's the only one) I liked that JD line was because... once a upon a time, in the Kingdom of Nowhereland, during the Time That I'd Rather Push Into The Dark Crevice Known As My Memory, I did took the hit... for a friend. Actually, I did it twice.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The Joys of Reading Rediscovered
When asked to tell a story of my formative years, I recount this one story that I recently just realized to be weirdly--some may say "cutesy"--funny.
I have three siblings--an older sister and two younger brothers. But my youngest brother James was born much later (three or four years later than Jay) so he wasn't that much included in most of my adventures as a young girl.
With that said, let me go on. Our mom's sister, Auntie Marlyn, gave us presents--I cannot remember what for; I can't even remember who gave use the gifts but I was told later that the gifts were from her. These presents were a set books. Story books to be exact. These story books came in sets of threes so Ate Jing, Jay and I got one each. Each book I later believed to be a hint to our personalities. "Later" meaning college. Haha
Ate Jing being the demure, prim and proper little lady that she was got Little Red Riding Hood. Jay being the rowdy and michievous boy that he is got Puss in Boots. I, lo and behold, got Three Little Pigs. I wonder why. Really. Haha
Anyway, despite the "hidden meaning"--if there really was meaning--of the book, it didn't stop me from liking it. In fact, whenever a TV/cartoon adaptation of Three Little Pigs was shown on TV I would proudly turn to Jay--whose Puss in Boots rarely got adapted--and say, "Oy book ko 'yan." Thus started my (and Jay's) love-hate affair with books. Sometimes he does the loving and I do the hating. But most of the time it's the other way around.
One, if not the only, of the books that we both loved was The Science Library. It was some sort of illustrated encyclopaedia (six slim volumes) on science and experiments for kids. My mom said we used to read it all the time. Sometimes, while in the middle of playing with our other toys, Jay and I would remember The Science Library, and we'd "make halungkat" wherever it is Ate Nita stored it. Then, we'd lose interest and leave it lying around for her to store away again, and for us to remember again. Making her extremely irritated. This interest/disinterest cycle seemed to be window to the future for neither Jay nor I turned into science geeks. In fact, we turned out to be not-so-good with science--especially physics.
The Science Library was the only book (actually it was a set of books) we both loved. I was hooked into reading mostly "serious" stuff that involved story lines like The Fern Gully while he was hooked to informational fascinating stuff like The 1993 Guiness Book of World Records and some science picture books that were given to him as Christmas presents.
We went on separate ways, so to speak. I read more and more novels. Each more serious (aka classic) than the first. He regarded books as sleep-inducers. He borrows one of mine just to put himself to sleep. And the only published things he laid eyes on, and that captured this attention for more than an hour was.. I hate to admit, porn magazines. Boys.
But like any other journey, recently, our paths crossed--reading-wise. He willingly read--out of boredom--My Imaginary Ex by Mina Esguerra (published by Summit Books), one of my chick lit books. Ha. I didn't expect that of all my books this is the one he would read. And guess what, he liked it too. I guess his secret longing for reading and his deep-down romantic nature drew him to read this slim volume lying on our unused TV set.
I didn't love or even liked this particular book, but hey, at least he read it. And liked it.
He may not like, or even try to read, the books, the novels and the stories I read and love now but it makes me smile to know that somehow he has not forgotten--or has found again--the joys of reading. One of the many things we shared in childhood, and I hope we'll continue to share to adulthood and beyond.
I have three siblings--an older sister and two younger brothers. But my youngest brother James was born much later (three or four years later than Jay) so he wasn't that much included in most of my adventures as a young girl.
With that said, let me go on. Our mom's sister, Auntie Marlyn, gave us presents--I cannot remember what for; I can't even remember who gave use the gifts but I was told later that the gifts were from her. These presents were a set books. Story books to be exact. These story books came in sets of threes so Ate Jing, Jay and I got one each. Each book I later believed to be a hint to our personalities. "Later" meaning college. Haha
Ate Jing being the demure, prim and proper little lady that she was got Little Red Riding Hood. Jay being the rowdy and michievous boy that he is got Puss in Boots. I, lo and behold, got Three Little Pigs. I wonder why. Really. Haha
Anyway, despite the "hidden meaning"--if there really was meaning--of the book, it didn't stop me from liking it. In fact, whenever a TV/cartoon adaptation of Three Little Pigs was shown on TV I would proudly turn to Jay--whose Puss in Boots rarely got adapted--and say, "Oy book ko 'yan." Thus started my (and Jay's) love-hate affair with books. Sometimes he does the loving and I do the hating. But most of the time it's the other way around.
One, if not the only, of the books that we both loved was The Science Library. It was some sort of illustrated encyclopaedia (six slim volumes) on science and experiments for kids. My mom said we used to read it all the time. Sometimes, while in the middle of playing with our other toys, Jay and I would remember The Science Library, and we'd "make halungkat" wherever it is Ate Nita stored it. Then, we'd lose interest and leave it lying around for her to store away again, and for us to remember again. Making her extremely irritated. This interest/disinterest cycle seemed to be window to the future for neither Jay nor I turned into science geeks. In fact, we turned out to be not-so-good with science--especially physics.
The Science Library was the only book (actually it was a set of books) we both loved. I was hooked into reading mostly "serious" stuff that involved story lines like The Fern Gully while he was hooked to informational fascinating stuff like The 1993 Guiness Book of World Records and some science picture books that were given to him as Christmas presents.
We went on separate ways, so to speak. I read more and more novels. Each more serious (aka classic) than the first. He regarded books as sleep-inducers. He borrows one of mine just to put himself to sleep. And the only published things he laid eyes on, and that captured this attention for more than an hour was.. I hate to admit, porn magazines. Boys.
But like any other journey, recently, our paths crossed--reading-wise. He willingly read--out of boredom--My Imaginary Ex by Mina Esguerra (published by Summit Books), one of my chick lit books. Ha. I didn't expect that of all my books this is the one he would read. And guess what, he liked it too. I guess his secret longing for reading and his deep-down romantic nature drew him to read this slim volume lying on our unused TV set.
I didn't love or even liked this particular book, but hey, at least he read it. And liked it.
He may not like, or even try to read, the books, the novels and the stories I read and love now but it makes me smile to know that somehow he has not forgotten--or has found again--the joys of reading. One of the many things we shared in childhood, and I hope we'll continue to share to adulthood and beyond.
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