Monday, December 31, 2012

2012

I like traditions and, in a sense, stability. The phase in my life when I want to keep trying something new at every possible instance has passed; I now prefer tried and tested, safe. Every year I post a review on Multiply and rate each year with stars--5 stars being the best. I'm doing this here now because the future of my Multiply account is uncertain.

I started this tradition in 2007 when I wrote a short three-sentence summary of how my year went. Unfortunately in 2008 I did not make a review for a reason I cannot remember now. But looking back, I remember 2008 as a year of happiness--genuine and simple happiness. My best birthday ever was in this year. 2009 was a year when my review got more detailed and I started quantifying things to measure them. I learned that travelling brings me joy and pleasure more than any other activity. 2010 was a year of adjustments (being a working student) and growing up to be an adult, in every sense of the word. 2011 was a tough year in every aspect but mostly because I lost a brother to the war in Mindanao.

Looking back on these reviews, I noticed three common themes/things I regularly monitor: (1) being friendly or at least sociable, (2) being smart (academic-wise and in life) and (3) being happy, which to an extent, I realize, involves being selfish.

2012 was a rough year for me not because I lost a loved one or injured myself or figured in a near-death experience but because I had to fight inner battles which led me to reflect on and about myself a lot. These battles are harder because I was going against my greatest opponent, myself. I learned of my strengths, weaknesses, passions and pet peeves. I wrote and reflected on my Notes to Self (personal PDF-ed notes that Future Me could read and reflect on) which made me realized how much I've changed and, in a sense, not changed. I opened up and shared myself  more with another person which 2007 me never thought would be possible. I learned that even if I figured out the key to happiness I cannot just pursue it and be selfish because we do not live in a vacuum. Regardless of how noble or naive it may sound, being happy is not just about making decisions for myself but making life decisions in consideration of people around me, people I love and cherish, people who love and cherish me.

Overall, 2012 was a year of learning, reflections and, most importantly, honesty. Despite it being a rough year, I give 2012 4 stars because this year I became honest which is an important step to being truly happy. 

Finally, I hope 2013 will be a year of courage, of wanting to try new things...again.


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