Now, it's official: I'm bitter

I'm too depressed with the loss of Hugh Laurie and Neil Patrick Harris to react. Here are the winners of the 62nd Emmy Awards:


Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy — Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Outstanding Writing in a Comedy — Modern Family

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy — Jane Lynch, Glee

Outstanding Directing in a Comedy — GLEE

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy — Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy — Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program — Top Chef

Outstanding Writing for a Drama — Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama — Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama — Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama — Brian Cranston, Breaking Bad

Outstanding Directing in a Drama — Dexter

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama — Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Outstanding Writing in Variety — 63rd Annual Tony Awards

Outstanding Variety Series — The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie — Julia Ormond, Temple Grandin

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie — David Strathairn, Temple Grandin

Outstanding Writing in a Miniseries or Movie — You Don’t Know Jack

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie — Claire Danes, Temple Grandin

Outstanding Directing in a Miniseries or Movie — Temple Grandin

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie — Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack

Outstanding Miniseries — The Pacific

Outstanding Made for Television Movie — Temple Grandin

Outstanding Drama Series — Mad Men

Outstanding Comedy Series — Modern Family

Before Things Get More Bitter

Last year, I waited 'til the announcement of winners before I wrote my 61st Emmy blog entry, thinking that my favorites like The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother and House would win in their respective categories--but they didn't. It turned out to be an ampalaya entry, if you know what I mean.

Before the rest of the winners of this year's Emmys will be announced on the 29th of August (the winners in other categories have been announced; except for the "big" ones), here's my take on the nominees, and who I think should win--as if my opinion matters at all, and before this whole thing becomes moot and academic. Hehe

Outstanding lead actor in a comedy series

Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory) should outrightly win this thing this time. Please Emmys, Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) won over Sheldon last year, don't make the same mistake again this year. It would've been nice if Zachary Levi was nominated for Chuck but I guess the show's not that Emmy-worthy(?) yet. I predict that the year Chuck gets nominated will be the same year Zac Levi, Joshua Gomez or even Adam Baldwin will be nominated as well.

Outstanding lead actress in a comedy series

Since Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) was snubbed this year, I'm rooting for Tina Fey (30 Rock) who lost to Toni Collette (United States of Tara), who's not in this year's list, last year. Go Tina!

Outstanding lead actor in a drama series

Hugh Laurie (House) lost last year to Cranston (Breaking Bad)--also a nominee this year--so I expect the Emmys to give this year's trophy to the much-deserving Laurie for the season premiere of House last season (Season 6), which I heard was what he submitted for judging.

Outstanding lead actress in a drama series

I'm not familiar with any of the actresses nominated in this category, nor the shows they were nominated for. It's either I don't watch that much high-end drama or the ones I watch are snubbed or are not Emmy-worthy. Cases in point: The women of Desperate Housewives, a series which I decided to stop following religiously for the simple reason that I got bored somewhere along the way, and Lisa Edelstein of House. Maybe next year, Cuddy.

Outstanding comedy series

How could How I Met Your Mother not be nominated this year?! The doppelgangers were funny. The Playbook was funny. The SlapBet is still funny. And how could the guys at Emmys not find The Sexless Innkeeper skit not funny?!? Or the "not good enough" *plus whipping sound* by Marshall. Oh boy. This is the major snub of the year!

And for the third straight year, The Big Bang Theory is snubbed yet again. Okay, maybe I skipped on finishing the rest of Season 3 but hey, I just had to prioritize my time. The show is still funny--regardless if I'm watching it or not.

Chuck was also snubbed. Again, I predict that the year Chuck gets nominated, Zac Levi, Joshua Gomez or even Adam Baldwin will be nominated as well. So let's all wait for that. Season 4, maybe?

Considering these snubs, which breaks my heart beyond words, I vote for 30 Rock, since it has been winning the past couple of years--or maybe Glee, with its freshman luck, can snatch it.

Outstanding drama series

How could House not be nominated this year?! Is the Chase-killing-a-patient-which-leads-to-Cameron-leaving storyline not enough drama?! And really, LOST?! 'Nuff said. Seriously, is my taste completely the opposite of the Emmys? I predict--no, I wish for--a Dexter win. Just to spite perennial winner, Mad Men.

Oustanding supporting actor in a comedy series

Last year, Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men) beat out HIMYM's Neil Patrick Harris, and I would think that this year it would just be downright absurd if NPH will lose to the same man for the second straight year. But Chris Colfer (Glee) is maybe--just maybe--headed for big upset this year. May the better man win. ;)

I'm sure Glee fans are raving about this nomination--maybe more than the Lea Michele nomination for Outstanding actress in a comedy or the Matthew Morrisson nomination for oustanding lead actor in a comedy--just because Colfer has greater chances of winning than Michele and Matthew.

Oustanding supporting actress in a comedy series

I predict Jane Lynch (Glee) winning this over everyone else, hands down. Sue is like the girl-Barney (only in a meaner, not too sex-driven way). They're both very effective "villains with good qualities" or "protagonists with off-beat qualities."

Oustanding supporting actor in a drama series

I guess I don't watch much drama except for House, and Wilson, Chase and Foreman and even Taub failed to make the cut. I wonder if Kutner would've had a better chance in getting nominated if he lived.

Oustanding supporting actress in a drama series

It turns out Burn Notice is a drama series! Sharon Gless for the win! No one can play Michael Westen's "cool" mom better than Gless.

So there you go. My predictions. But if I may add my own category...

Perennial Snub Award

One last thing though, in the list of this year's nominees and last year's, I wonder... where the hell is BONES? Yes, Chuck and The Big Bang Theory, equally great shows, were absent in the past two years and that's understandable considering they were on for four and three seasons, respectively, but Bones has been airing for five seasons already! Isn't that enough for a nomination? Or people at the Emmys are having a hard time classfying what the show is... is it a comedy, or is it drama? I'd go for drama though. Or Bones just don't have what it takes, which is complete B.S.

IT OBVIOUSLY HAS WHAT IT TAKES. They're just not looking hard enough. The Eric Millegan-Emily Deschanel (as Zack Addy and Dr. Temperance Brennan, respectively) scene in the Gormogon episode, which was also a season finale a season ago, was certainly worth something. Too bad it wasn't recognized, as with the other Bones episodes.

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Good thing, in the 32nd Daytime Emmy Awards, The Ellen DeGeneres Show won over last year's winner Rachael Ray for Outstanding entertainment talk show. Good. One win down, more to go. :)

Lucky 13th?

Fearless Forecast on
PBA's Fiesta Conference Finals 2010

To make this short and straight to the point (because I still have to read up on Bernas' Consti haha), I predict this Finals series to be won by the Aces if it goes the distance or by the Beermen if it only goes until five. The shorter the series, the more it will favor the Beermen. The longer it goes, the higher chances of Alaska snatching their 13th championship.

ACES in SEVEN

The Aces have the following factors going for them:

Character. This season alone, the Aces have won Game5 against crowd favorite Ginebra in the Quaterfinals and Game7 against league-leader Talk N' Text in the Semis. And they managed to do these amazing feats without Willier Miller in their roster. This goes to show what the team is made of. From LA Tenorio to Larry Fonacier to Jeffrey Cariaso to Reynel Hugnatan to Tony  Dela Cruz--these players are winners, and come clutch time they will surely step up to the plate to deliver the points and composure when it matters the most. It's not always about skill. It's all about heart.

Coach Tim Cone. Being the second winningest coach in PBA history (Baby Dalupan being the winningest) tells a lot about Tim Cone's reliable system. He has guided the Aces to a Grand Slam in the '90s with Abarrientos, Lastismosa and Cariaso. And this season, he managed to steer the Aces to the Finals despite the very worthy adversaries in Ginebra and Talk N Text, the absence of Miller and the presence of underrated players. He alone could spell the difference for the Aces.

Chemistry. Except for Cyrus Baguio and Diamon Simpson, most of the Aces have been playing together for around three years already. They have learned and mastered Coach Tim Cone's triangle offense, which, as we have seen in Phil Jackson's system with the Lakers, can be deadly. DeVance and Thoss have blossomed into the big men the team trained them to be--good passers, steady shooters and good post defenders. Along with Simpson, these big men remain to be key points in the Aces' traingle offense. 

Defense. I believe the Aces is the second best defensive team in the league this season--with Derby Ace ranking first. They play a very solid team defense that the Beermen obviously lack. As the basketball cliche goes, Offense wins games; defense wins championships. 

With all these said, the Aces still has weaknesses to work on/worry about. Fatigue may become a factor in a seven-game series. Alaska have been playing games non-stop since the quarterfinals. The stamina of the players, and even the coaches, will be put to the test as the series gets longer. Along with fatigue are the injuries. Two vital players in the Alaska rotation were injured in the Game7 win over TNT last Wednesday--Sonny Thoss stepped on someone's foot while Tony Dela Cruz got a elbow on the throat. If these players miss the entire series, the scales would certainly favor the Beermen, as the Aces obviously lack the deep bench SMB has. But knowing Coach Tim Cone and his system, he will find ways to remedy these weaknesses. I foresee Fonacier, Mark Borboran and Joe DeVance having break out games in the series.

BEERMEN in FIVE

Although I outrightly go for the Aces in this series, I foresee the possibility of the Beermen snatching the championship because of these factors:

Talent. Arguably, the Beermen is one of the most talented teams, if not the most talented, this season. With a prolific import in Gabe Freeman, who also played last Fiesta Conference, a steady bunch of veterans in Hontiveros, Racela, Siegle, Pena and Ildefonso, talented acquisitions in Santos, Cabagnot, Yeo and Miranda, the vast improvement of Washington, and a deep bench that boasts of Villanueva, Pennisi and Tugade (who could easily be a starter in another team), the Beermen look poised to win the championship. At least, on paper. If the Aces lax on defense, expect the Beermen to go on a scoring rampage.

Bench. As I have pointed out, the Beermen has a very deep bench. Just imagine Coach Siot Tanquincen having the luxury of pulling Danny Siegle and Lordy Tugade from the bench at any juncture in the game. Almost all of the players have had championship experience, too--albeit in different teams. Yeo and Miranda have won one with the Realtors. Hontiveros, Ildefonso, Siegle, Racela and Pena have won numerous titles with SMB.

I see two things the Beermen has to work on to improve their chances of winning the championship. First is team chemistry. Although, individually, the players are talented, basketball is still a team sport. It takes five players on court to make things work. The recent acquisitions of Cabagnot, Yeo, Miranda and Santos and evenTugade during the off-season may become a factor for the Beermen. Second is foul trouble. The Beermen, as I've seen in their past few games, have a penchant for getting into foul trouble very early in the game; or into penalty very early in the quarter. Freeman and Pena have to manage their fouls well considering how good ballhandlers/inside players Fonacier, Tenorio and DeVance are. 

And lastly, the Beermen needs to have the heart to go for the win. Yes, the players are all well-established in their own rights (I believe they have won most of the individual awards this Conference). Somehow Coach Siot has to find the proper motivation for the team to have the desire to win the championship.

As with any forecast, these predictions are not cast in stone. Some of them may be wrong, some may be right. But one thing I'm sure of is that this championship (PBA's 100th) will be wayyy more worth watching than last Conference's.

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sidenote:

Matchups to watch out for are:

LA Tenorio v. Olsen Racela/Alex Cabagnot/Jonas Villanueva/Dennis Miranda

Larry Fonacier v. Joseph Yeo

Gabe Freeman v. Diamon Simpson

Joe DeVance/Tony Dela Cruz v. Arwind Santos/Jay Washington

Failure on a Wednesday

After having a nice afternoon merienda/dinner with Janjan and Pau in MoMo at Eastwood, and almost two hours in public transpo trying to get home after buying the last copy (which was a little dirty) of Bernas' Consti 1 book in Recto (from Morayta I had to go to Sm North and take a taxi back to VLuna?! My public transpo skills are failing me. :/) I check my email and find out about the bad news. 

Ye-ahhh. (a la Barney)

In a nutshell (hahaha someone said this to me sarcastically a couple of days ago and I couldn't remember who! Is my memory is failing me as well? :/), after a series of tests, interviews and filling out a couple personal employee data sheets, I was turned down by the first company I ever applied for. Epic fail :/

But I couldn't say it entirely surprised me. I knew right after the interview that I wouldn't make it. Judging by the time the whole final interview took (which was surprisingly under twenty minutes), and how the interviewers kept reiterating the fact that law school was going to interfere with the supposed work schedule. 

But still... when something is told to you in black and white, although you see it coming, you still feel bad about it. I guess it has something to do with, in my case, failing at something--and then having that failure rubbed in my face by someone/something. Because no matter how hard I deny it, I am competitive. I like winning, and I give my best effort to get that victory. And in cases that I don't, it bums me. 

Ohwell. 

To be positive about it, at least I won't be put into a position where I will or might compromise my law studies, which is the most important thing to me right now. I guess I have to wait for that RTC gig (the most suitable job for me)--whenever that may be. :)

At least this didn't happen on a Saturday. Seeing Janjan and Pau--who had the juicest story of the day haha--almost made up for today's semi-epic fail. 

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Our Own Fiero

My father's newly restored Volkswagen car

When I was a kid, I used to dream of/plan to graduate from college and be a lawyer (thinking four years was enough for this) and have a car. For me, a car showed that the person who owned it was of fairly-okay status (in Filipino, mas nakakaangat sa buhay). 


A view that I shared with most Pinoys. A view that, I will not lie, I still maintain up to now. (I'm capitalist like this! haha)


So while I'm waiting for the free time to be able to learn how to drive, and for the job that will give me enough money for gas and repairs of the restored Volkswagen (see photo) my father promised to hand down to me come law school, I have to be content with experiencing fun and whatnots in others people's cars... in Janelle's car Cupcake in particular.


The Car
Janjan's car, Cupcake, is my most favorite car ever! 


The Driver
Back in fourth year college, Janelle, who I lovingly call 'Janjan', drove all the way to UP Manila (where I study) from UP Diliman (where she studies) to bring me, of all things, a "healthy breakfast." It was one of those random/crazy ideas we said aloud and laughed about but never expected to actually happen. What made it more special was that she had to overcome her apprehension of driving in the streets of Manila for that idea to happen. 


Since she had an exam in the afternoon of the same day, she had to leave as soon as I finished eating the breakfast. Out of the blue--maybe, the feeling of randomness was in the air, haha--I suggested to ride with her back to UP Diliman. I remember saying that the drive was too long to be made alone--as if she was the first person to make such drive alone. The drive was unexpectedly fun, and revealing. I got to see a different side--I admit, a side I liked--of Janelle, the driver side. Slow, careful and observant. Much like how she is in life, perhaps. And funny. All throughout the drive, she kept saying things I found completely hilarious. Like when she said that I'd ace the exam I was preparing for just because I was good at memorization. I berated her for weeks about that Freudian slip but it was all good. ;-)


The Seat
For me, contrary to what my friends Rich and Jecy said, the so-called 'place of honor' in the car is the passenger seat or 'the second frontseat.' As much as possible and as much as the circumstance permits it, I occupy that seat when in a car. I find it... empowering. And of course, seeing all the driving, in almost the same viewpoint as the driver's, makes me feel like the driver. 


The "Scenery"
There was one time when we were on our way to Technohub or Philcoa, I remember seeing flags along Commonwealth Ave., and commented, "Ano ba yan bakit may flag ng Mexico dito?" I'm not sure if it was Harold or Pauie, in the backseat, who informed me, "Sa Iglesia Ni Cristo 'yan hindi Mexico." It turned out they were celebrating their foundation anniversary, and Janjan and her family are members of INC. Dyahe. It was so embarrassing and funny at the same time. 


Another instance was, during one of my "UPD visits" before I took the LAE, Janjan, Pauie and I were driving around UP Campus, and we passed by this house on a corner, and I randomly said, "Diyan ako magdo-dorm." We just laughed at my comment then, because I was not-so confident in passing the exam and making it to UP Law. But now, after I successfully passed the LAE, when I pass by that house on the corner, I realize how Nostradamus-like that moment was. Making it one of the most epic car rides ever.


The Feeling
One of the most touching, if not sentimental, car ride we had was one of the more recent ones. After one of my UPD visits, she was about to drop me off at Philcoa, like always, when out of the blue--literally, out of her bag--she handed me this yellow Cirque du Soleil band she got for me when she went to Macau. She knew that my ICanServe awareness band had snapped, and thus provided a new one.  I didn't know she made a mental note that my favorite band had snapped and I couldn't get a replacement for it. To be honest, that CdS band was one of my most, if not the most, favorite pasalubong I got. :)


All these, and other stories and experiences happened--thanks to Cupcake.


If Marshall and the gang of How I Met Your Mother had the Fiero to define, maintain and deepen their friendships and relationships, Janelle, Pauie, and me (and sometimes Harold, too) have Cupcake.




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Hello, Death

I'm not good with goodbyes the same way I'm not good with hellos and first meetings.

When dealing with goodbyes--from the usual parting of ways after a class or the more emotional parting of ways for a long period of time--I either walk away without any hint or drama or I raise a hand in a semi-wave and utter a simple, "Bye." In moments when I'm feeling friendly I add, "Ingat"---but believe me those moments are rare.

Case 1. Saying goodbye to my all-time favorite teacher, my high school Algeb teacher Ms Ramos. With her, Math wasn't so confusing. I remember I sort of self-dedicated the song "Hands to Heaven" to her. We were too mushy that we exchanged hankies on her surprising (because she had to leave our school to teach in another school, mid-school year) last day in school, as if that was enough to keep our bond. Well maybe it was.
That was in third year.
Sadly, I was not able to maintain communication with her as much as I keep the hanky up to now. :/

Case 2. Saying goodbye to a dear friend. Our friendship, no matter how I hard I tried to keep it from sinking or whatever, was reduced to a goodbye hug in front of KFC-Taft/Faura at about 11pm. It was surreal, like in a movie. But the pain, the sadness, the regret was always as real as real can be. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Case 3. Saying goodbye to our decade-old dog, Lupin. I'm not much of a pet/animal person but I was saddened, more than I expected, when I found out that he was already dead when I came home after two weeks of not doing so because of the gazillion stuff I had to read for law school. And what makes it sadder was that I was unable to see him before he passed away, as if me seeing him would change the fact that he's dead now.

I guess all the sadness I have equated with saying goodbye, whether temporary or permanent, manifests in: 1) my choice not to look into dead people's caskets, and seeing their faces. I choose to remember people the liveliest way I can rather than their latest  "look" before they passed away; 2) my penchant to avoid hospitals--either being confined in one or visiting a loved one; 3) my constant efforts to avoid wakes and funerals, the last wake and funeral I attended wholeheartedly because I was really close to the deceased was my Tita's--and that was when I was around eight or nine years old; and 4) my super conscious effort to stay away from horror films. I vowed Kris Aquino's Feng Shui to be my last.

As the saying goes, The only things that are constant in this world are death and taxes. And since I have yet to become a taxpayer--I'm sort of not looking forward to that--I guess I have to learn to grapple or deal with death, or goodbyes, for it is here to stay.... even longer after I have left.



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'Type' Kita

One of my lesser (but in the end, will be one of the greater) concerns regarding law school life is the handwriting part. I have (or I'd like to think that I do have) substance in writing but I lack the form part. I may have bright and not-so bright ideas but sometimes I have a difficulty conveying them without the use of technology.

Example: I have lots of things going on in my head; lots of opinions on everything... well, basically, I have a lot to say but I have a difficulty conveying these ideas through public speaking. Being an Org president and law student, people readily (and quite wrongly) assume that I take public speaking with ease. No I don't. Second to performing in front of many people, this is one of my greatest fears. I find it relatively easier to write down my thoughts rather than actually speak them.

But, here's the problem... the writing part is actually typing. In order for me to be able to convey successfully my thoughts and ideas to other people--which, for me, is the main point of communication--I have to use technology. Thus, I type relatively well compared to most people. I type better than I write. :)

You see, I'm one of those gifted people who draws and does lettering wayyy better than writing. My brother Jay and I blame our faulty handwriting to not being strictly-taught by our father, who taught ate Jane who has one of the clearest handwriting in the world, and to being taught to write by a pre-school named "Quick Learners." Haha, quick indeed.

My nearly indiscernible Morse Code-like handwriting was one of the reasons why I thought of entering Med school instead of law school. People kept saying, "Ang pangit naman ng sulat mo, pang-doktor." Doctors, as I was told, had an excuse for having a not-so legible handwriting because the burden of proof, haha, of understanding their handwriting lie on the pharmacists who read the prescriptions they wrote. They weren't forced to try to have a more legible handwriting.

In contrast, law school is all about writing. That exams are handwritten, that some profs prefer handwritten case digests, that the bar exam is all about four Sundays of writing legibly, and as I learn through the Leg Big homework earlier this week, that even homeworks are handwritten. Oops.

To be honest, I was surprised, and to a point relieved, to find out that I was not the only one, in our block at least, to have the scrappiest handwriting but others had the handwriting thing going for them. And I mean, really. They were like lean-mean breathing handwriting machines.

Here are a couple of photos of the handwriting of my blockmates...

Kirby's

Richard's

and mine...

Although I was not alone in having a not-so legible handwriting, I realized, sadly, that mine was one of the most indiscernible ones.

Hayyy. Another area to improve. And I'm not even concerned about passing the bar exams, I'm thinking about passing my exams this semester.

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Sana pwedeng i-type na lang ang sagot sa exams. :/

Food for thought

Great things may break us; the smallest things glue us back together.






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The Old Has Gone; The New Has Come

With every old thing thrown away, I believe there is something new to gain. Either its a renewed hope, renewed fear, or something as tangible as a new band.

Almost a couple of years back, I started wearing this ICanServe awareness band--much like a baller ID--for the advocacy to battle breast cancer and well, it also stood for another, more personal reason. Before Graduation last April 2010, that band snapped. It was the second of the same design already; for the first snapped while I was in Batanes. I took it as a sign--a goodbye sign of sorts. All things I did, and happened to me while in Undergrad (funny, painful and downright interesting), I realized, as that band snapped, should be chalked up to experience--and not something I have/should to dwell on no matter how memorable and how unique they are.

So, as melodramatic as it may sound--and believe me I rarely get this dramatic--I chalked up everything to experience. Life lessons, as they say.

Come law school, though, I didn't see it coming. I didn't see myself acquiring another band. I didn't foresee that that something that I was gaining in replacement of the other would be as tangible/as literal as this. Yes, the Universe have conspired to let me have one--for without one, I feel empty. My left wrist, aside from the occasional watch I wear to class, is left bare.

But this one, this particular band has an altogether different meaning. The difference between the band of then and now are these:

1. This New one was given by a friend who went to Macau for summer; I bought the other one from PinkRibbon.

2. This New one was a harmony of pastel colors--a sign of brighter things ahead, maybe?--while the Old one was black with the occasional pink and white letters.

3. The Old one stood for deeper and maybe darker or sadder memories while this New one stands for, I guess, not much. HAHA It's up to me to make it mean something, right?

4. This New one said: When I grow up, I will run away and join the circus. The old one said: ICanServe. While the other stood for greater, more nobler causes/goals, this New one simply stood for personal (not necessarily, less) nobler gains. I'm not saying that I will forget the causes of the Old one, it's just that this New band reminds me where my priorities lie (the present) and the things I value (friends, family, loyalty, etc.).

5. All things that the Old one reminded me of, the New one reminds me to put aside for greater things. ;-)

 

 

The Marcel Proust Questionnaire

The Marcel Proust Questionnaire

What is your most marked characteristic?
_RATIONALITY and SENSE (be it common sense, sense of humor etc)

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
_GRADUATING WITH LATIN HONORS FROM UP, and yes, GETTING INTO UP LAW

When and where were you happiest?
_WHENEVER/WHEREVER I'M WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY

What is your greatest regret?
_THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY SAY

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
_BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT TO

What is your most treasured possession?
_MY GLASSES, without them I could not see the world clearly

Where would you like to live?
_If not the PHILIPPINES, maybe NETHERLANDS

What is your greatest fear?
_LOSING SOMEONE THAT IS DEAR TO ME

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
_TOO MUCH RATIONALITY

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
_IGNORANCE, IRRESPONSIBILITY

Who is/are your hero/es in real life?
_WALA

Who is/are your heroine/s in real life?
_MAMA and ELAINE MENDOZA. Go figure.

Who is/are your hero/es in fiction?
_Does CHUCK BARTOWSKI count? If not, perhaps JOHN COREY, WALTER FANE

Who is/are your heroine/s in fiction?
_SARAH from Sweet November and SYLVIA from Wrong Information is Being Given Out in Princeton by JP Donleavy

What is/are your favorite name/s?
_GABRIEL, HENRY, CARLA, RIA

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
_HONESTY XD

What is your greatest extravagance?
_BOOKS

What is your favorite journey?
_TO THE UNKNOWN, haha. pero seriously, LIFE :)

What is it that you most dislike?
_HYPOCRISY

What is the quality you most like in a man?
_SENSITIVITY

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
_CERTAINTY

What do you most value in your friends?
_LOYALTY

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
_A WRITER or maybe AN INVISIBLE CREATURE

How would you like to die?
_QUICKLY, NO PAIN IF POSSIBLE

'Twas Fun While It Lasted

Today, It snapped.

Although I was aware of  the frailty and brevity of Its "life," I was still taken aback. Of all places, of all times, of all moments, It chose to snap when I wasn't looking, when I was unaware.

It snapped days after it sinked in me that I wasn't getting any nearer, that I wasn't getting anywhere. This would have been a perfect time, as if God, or someone else who controls the littlest details in this universe, cued for his Angels, or whomever, to cut It to make me realize how fruitless that path was, and I'd have to switch gears soon.

Though I would love to continue Its advocacy, I realize the attachments I gave to It shackled me in a way that made it hard for me to let go. With It around my wrist, I was constantly reminded of all the things I could not achieve, I could not have, and all the things I gave more priority to. It reminded me of weaknesses I could not strengthen, vices I could not avoid, flaws I could not straighten out, desires I could not simply ignore, and memories I could not forget.

Sadly, it reminded me of my personal commitment, obviously one-sided, to all things connected to that past.

Now my wrist is left bare--without that familiar band encircling me, keeping all my emotions in check. It has left a white discoloration on my relatively darker complexion--a constant reminder that It may have snapped and that I had to move on but there's nothing wrong with missing Its presence for in Its existence I experienced a different joy in my heart that never fails to put a smile on my face once remembered, a feeling that I chose, sadly, never to feel again.

The Universal Language

If it's any worth to you, or to anyone, because it is of no use to me... uhh, well, most of the time... I know how to curse in four different languages. And that's not because I Google-Translated cuss words in these languages.

Filipino
English
French
Russian

The most memorable (in a not-so-good but funny way) experience I had with cursing was when I was around 10 or 11 years old. My youngest brother James was annoying me--this has become his natural-born talent--and I just had to do something. So yes, I uttered--no, shouted at him, the words, "Fuck you" as he ran away just as I was asking him to ran an errand for me. My baptism of fire, my red test, so to speak.

Upon hearing the F word come out of my young mouth, what my brilliant mom did was this: she called me back into the house, (The way she said, "Joann pumasok ka nga dito sa loob" gave me the [correct] idea that I was in big trouble.) and asked/ranted about what I said and why I said it. Then, (Surprise! Surpise!) she asked me to get our bulky and dusty Webster's Dictionary--because she knew how I loved that piece of shit--and made me look for the words I just uttered. (Surprise! Surprise!) The word "Fuck" cannot be found anywhere in that heavvyyy peace of shit. Moral lesson, as my mom pointed out, that word was so bad, it meant so bad, that it was not fit to be learned and used by an educated person. Let alone a child of my age.

This experience made me shun the "F" word for the most part of my growing years. In high school though, I opted to use and curse (still) in English rather an in Filipino because it sounds less... vulgar. Words like "shit" and "fuck" and "fudge" became staples in my vocabulary as the years went on. I even used "shit", "oh fuck" and "fucker" more than "oh god" or variations thereof.

But I became inclined to using the Filipino language more because I acquired the belief that it was "so conyo" to use English words as cuss words. So, "gago" and even "puta" slowly became part of my everyday words. Though I still have some reservations for using "putang-ina" or "tang-ina" because I think/believe that the more frequent I use these words, the more times I drag my mom's name (and all other mothers' names) into something bad--shameful, even.

I learned to curse the Russian way (Yeb vas) from Nelson DeMille's book "Lion's Game" (in the book though, "Yob vas" was used). Yeah, one of the many Joys of reading. *wink* These two simple Russian words might come in handy, as Russians are known to be un-hospitable, indifferent and, to some point, rude. I'm ready for you, Klaus, Boris, and Natasha. Ha ha ha

Come senior year in UP, I learned how to curse in French during the very first meeting of French 10. AND I learned to curse in 3 different ways: Va te faire foutre, Va te faire enculer, and Putain. I believe these are very handy phrases/words to know. It is for those Emergency/I-need-a-backup-plan moments when you find yourself in a sticky encounter with the French-speaking population (which is btw, an enormous number) and you feel the need to curse. He he

Still, nothing beats the old but trusty way of getting messages, whether pleasant or hateful, across using the language almost everyone understands... body language. I have yet to use this language though because I find it rather offensive. You see, I'm a visual person.

So, what does this mean? Does my extensive *ehem ehem* knowledge on cuss words and cursing in different languages reflect to a violent, war-freak behavior? I hope not. To be honest, I'm trying not to curse too much and/or just utter these phrases in vain, in pain--or whatever. And to be more perfectly honest, I haven't said the Russian and French versions to any human/living being. Nor have I used, as pointed out, body language towards anyone to convey my message of hate.

Let me be clear that I do not encourage anyone or everyone to curse all they like because I think this is a bad habit I need to shun to be become a real Christian.

I think the knowledge of these words provide me some sort of security (albeit rather shallow or superficial, depending on your views) that in case someone of whatever nationality harasses me or does something I do not like, I can say it straight in their faces, in a language they could understand.

Be it in Filipino, English, French, Russian or plain old "giving (them) the finger."

One More Reason To Love Saturdays

Just the other day a friend asked me, "Bakit mo love ang Saturdays?" Well, probably he didn't see my other posts. Now, I have one more reason.. Technically, the great news was delivered to me on a Friday (12 February 2010), and I took the exam on a Sunday (22 November 2009).. which makes Saturday in-between those days, but instead of making today, this Saturday in particular (13 February 2010) mediocre, the news only made me love Saturdays even more because today I get to wake up thinking, "Shit, nakapasa ako sa LAE."

Thank you Lord for this great great blessing.

(Well, since I've written a more comprehensive blog in my Multiply account, I'd stop here.)

Stop Kahirapan--the right way

Sadly, Philippine elections is highlighted (or marred) by fraud, violence, and well, popularity. There is no need to dwell in fraud and violence for as of now with about four months to go 'til the May2010 elections, these two things are sprawled all over the news. So I'll dwell on the last one, having seen one of its effect/example the latest.

Tropa ni Manny

While on a bus on my home to Laguna, I saw this segment, some sort of game show, on Eat Bulaga! that looks and smells (figuratively, of course) fishy. The segment, hosted by Michael V. (*hint hint*), Ruby Rodriquez and other orange-clad (*hint hint*) hosts of the show, started with Michael V. rapping and singing (and everyone else doing this supposed-to-spread dance move) to song entitled, I suppose, Stop My Hirap. The mechanics of the "game" was this: before the start of the show, the live audience of Eat Bulaga! were asked to complete the phrase: "Nais ko..." on an orange (*hint again*) paper and put into some transparent container, from where Michael V. would get one, thus, proclaiming "the winner." This winner is then given the chance to spin a color-coded roleta--no names, different hues of the color orange, and the familiar "check" sign at the top of the roleta. The Grand Prize was P25,000 + groceries. After spinning twice (because the first one resulted to the "check" pointing to the line between two pizza-shaped portions of the roleta), "the winner" still didn't land on the coveted orange spot, but Michael V. decided to just give away the Grand Prize (*HINT HINT*). What the--

I admit, when the talk of the May2010 elections came up in 2009, I said I would vote for Villar (I guess by now, we all got the hint that that portion was his pakana). But seeing how he tries (vainly, painstakingly, and expensively at that) to out-popularize Noynoy, Gibo, Erap and other presidentiables, I suddenly abhor him. He shows the makings (or even the result?) of a Traditional Politician. Trapo, ika nga.

A friend once said to me, "Nakakatakot kaya siya (Villar) kasi andami niyang ads." The reality, implications and gravity of this statement didn't come to me until I saw that lousy, cheap-shot Eat Bulaga! segment and Villar parading himself in pristine white in Wowowee on the same day at that! I was forced to look into the future, a la Nostradamus and the Mayan calendar makers, where he is the President, and I came back with a question, "Pa'no niya kaya babawiin lahat ng ginastos niya sa kampanya kapag naging presidente siya?" (How will he regain the costs incurred by the campaign when he becomes President?) The answer was simply, "Alam na."

Giving out money easily, in game shows or wherever, just goes to show what kind of President he will be, at least from my point of view. He is and will be promoting the (bad) practice of dole-outs, just like Wowowee and Willie Revillame (I weep for the deterioration of Eat Bulaga!). Having seen that anyone could have such amount of money in almost less than twenty minutes, Filipinos would now envision themselves being "uprooted" from poverty by such quick, un-merited and value-less ways. They would rather waste their time lining up for such contest opportunities, or worse wait for these opportunities to knock on their doors (literally) than work and strive hard--which, I believe, is the true Filipino way.

Saturday Soliloquy 6: Why I'm DEFINITELY loving the Saturdays of 2010

Just to update. I love Saturdays because of...

1. UAAP Women's Volleyball games. Watching these games over Studio23 (made possible by ABS-CBN Sports, Thank you guys!) almost eats up four to five hours of my Saturday afternoons. It has become an addictive habit. And here I am breaking partly another New Year resolution (Not getting addicted to another, one more series). Well, technically this is not a series but still an addiction. This is not new though for I have been watching volleyball ever since... the Desiree Hernandez and Diane Gotis days of La Salle. But I newly acquired it since the games started mid- or late 2009. So, anyway, I am still rooting for La Salle (9-0 na!)--even in that year when Alarca was unenrolled and they got suspended--this year and for the years to come! Unlike Hector the Heckler (I refuse to call him a fan) whose "monstrosity" I personally witnessed in an Adamson (the team he was rooting for) and UST women's volleyball game last January 13, 2010 at the Arena in San Juan. 

2. Chuck Season 3. The 7:30pm timeslot is just perfect because the Women's Volleyball games usually end at 6pm or so, giving me time to wash the dishes(!) which I am tasked to do on Saturdays which brings me to my next reason...

3. the "opportunity" to use the Internet all (mor)night long! This may sound mababawa but... well, you see, I belong in a big family of six, all of whom use the Internet hooked to one laptop (except for my father, who actually bought the thing haha). You get the picture? So to avoid cutting each other's throats and screaming our lungs out in reminder, "Pa-Internet naman," my brothers devised a "schedule": whoever is tasked to wash the dishes, a.k.a "the toka" (we have schedules for this too) goes to use the Internet at night, which, btw, is faster. So this translates to more/faster time to DL stuff. Hehe

4. the Saturday paper. Time and again, I've said/shared that I enjoy immensely reading the morning weekend newspaper (The Philippine Star, to be specific), and yes, this practice is so... suburbs na suburbs! I especially love the Supreme fold because they have a lot of good, young, and I may say, "budding" writers, and directors (this is where I first knew of the Pepe Diokno).

5. (to put it simply) the at-home-sa-Laguna life. You have to be here and experience it though because no words could describe the feeling I get whenever I get a whiff of the cold suburban night air (or the balmy one during the day) or whenever I wake up in the same bed I grew up sleeping in or whenever I see the food (usually breakfast, because I usually do the laying out part for lunch and dinner) prepared and laid out before me...

and a lot of other intangible, incomprehensible, unnoticeable, un-point-able reasons. I love Saturdays.

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You may want to read:


Saturday Soliloquy 1: Must Sees 
Saturday Soliloquy 2: Tsk, tsk, tsk  
Saturday Soliloquy 3: Quickie 
Saturday Soliloquy 4: Meeting the Mother 
Saturday Soliloquy 4 (Pahabol) 
Saturday Soliloquy 5: Poverty porn, fash speak, and celebirty spawns

Deflections

Though I find it easier (and getting more easier) to think/conjure/write a bunch of words--actually, at least a paragraph--in reaction to something. I know my reaction/okray skills are getting better as I get older (I think) but I would have been more thankful if this getting-better-okray skills translated to something academic--because really, no matter how much I try to convince myself that grades really don't matter in "the real world," I think/feel they do. We all have our convictions.

At the start of the year, I had three principles that I'm supposed to live by this year, but I failed at the first one--saying Yes to everything--the moment Ren asked/said to me last Tuesday, "Tara, inom." I don't know if saying "no" to "acquiring" yet again this sole "vice" of mine is a good or bad thing. But after reading the introductory essays on/to Jack Kerouac's original scroll of On The Road, I realized that he is right, life is a series of deflections. And that same instance with Ren showed that I was deflected from my initial goal of saying "Yes" to everything thus putting me in that position where I am supposed to be making yet another goal, in response to that deflection.

Another (seemingly simple yet complex) example. When I was in high school my sole goal/aspiration in life was to go to college and be a lawyer as soon as I can. Because, to be honest, I was one of those crazy/nerdy high school kids that wish nothing more but to graduate because they think everyone else is not living up to their expectations. Yes, I was that mayabang though I didn't show it. In my mind, and believe me this is the first time I will be admitting this in writing (I haven't done so verbally), I believed that I was smarter than everyone else--including my teachers. That everybody didn't read enough.

Come college, I was right though... everyone in high school, at least in mine, didn't read enough. I just got my high school yearbook and I noticed despite being First Honorable Mention I had no other awards aside from the Leadership Award and Best in TLE (Technology and Livelihood Education). The latter, I think, was a consolation because I was the only honor student in the top three who didn't receive anything else. Yes, I admit I wasn't textbook smart--hell, I even copied off others' papers during CAT exams--but I knew and believed, then, (this may sound cliche-ic) that I was destined for something greater. :O So, anyway, I was slightly deflected from my sole goal in life: Law School (though I still want to be a lawyer). I now have another (additional) goal: Reading More.

Now, with less than 12 weeks before graduation (thanks to Ate Josh for counting), I ask myself, "Is this the greatness I have envisioned for myself four/five years ago?" Or is there something greater than this? I know and choose to believe that there is. Because I realized once you get to that point of greatness you envisioned for yourself in the past, you seek for another "greatness", for greater-than-great things. Ah, one of the (fallible) qualities of the human race, discontent, which can be good and bad.

I guess what Kerouac mentioned as life's deflections has something to do with (hu)man's inherent discontentment. You wish to achieve something which you think will define your existence (or at least, make it livable) and when you achieve it, you realize/decide something else will define you more/better.

For some, this (pseudo) philosophical ranting may be gibberish or may mean nothing now but I guess, ten to fifteen years down the road, I want to look back and find out that 20 year old me was doing its best to achieve more, become greater or at least, try--with or without (the necessary) deflections.

(Do Not) Make Me A Supermodel (or Designer)

I always pride myself on being able to make the right guesses. Well, most of the time. Be it in a academic-related situation or as random as guessing who will win what reality show or simply who wins a particular sporting match. My so-called Guessing Track Record speaks for itself. I correctly predicted Fantasia Barino to win season three (or was that four) of American Idol; Amber Brkich in Survivor All-Stars, Flo and Zach in Amazing Race season four (yata); La Salle over... well, anybody else (haha) in women's volleyball... and so on.

But, in the all the wins I predicted, I grief (haha) over the one win I didn't predict is so great I had to blog about it. After watching--for countless times already--the Part 1 of Project Runway Philippines finale, I finally had the chance to watch the Part2--the juicy part. Upon seeing the collections of Manny, Santi and Russell, I hastily predicted Santi Obcena to take the "crown"--so to speak, basing on his "Warla" explanation and so-called concept of his collection. I thought watching all those episodes from Season 2 made me fashion literate, at least. But I guess not.

To be honest, I didn't like Russell's collection any bit, and my reaction towards Manny's was more of indiffence bordering on dislike. I was rooting for Santi just like Brent Javier and Sarah Meier. Yeah, I was thinking like them already. But Manny Marquez went on to win the competition--and the trip to Milan--because he showed the most "potential."

This failure of prediction, a blemish, so to speak, to my otherwise reliable Guessing Instincts just goes to show how ignorant and how un-fashionable I am. I am too visual. I lack the know-how in different techniques and styles. This is not a painful realization because I know I suck at fashion. Srsly. Though I do love watching Project Runway Philippines and Make Me A Supermodel.

But I guess, watching shows about fashion will not make me fashionable, in the same vein as watching volleyball games doesn't make a volleyball player. Good thing though being a supermodel (or fashion designer) and volleyball player is not high up in my list of Jobs That I Would Love To Have.

I want to blog like Jason

More than wanting his singing or guitar-playing or songwriting skills, which I would love to have any day, at this very moment (and the few minutes before this) I would love to have his other skill... his writing, particularly blogging, skills.

Really.

Click here and see for yourself.

He's just about the coolest guy I know, so far. Freshness epitomized.

Saturday Soliloquy 5: Poverty porn, fash speak and celebrity spawns

It's been a long while since I wrote on a Saturday night (last September to be exact), in reaction to the Saturday paper--The Philippine Star. In short, my Saturday Soliloquy. So to (sort of) start the 2010 right (meaning: informative) here goes my first Saturday Soliloquy for 2010, and my fifth overall, which centers on three key phrases that made noise/s last 2009:

1. "Poverty porn" Filmmaker/columnist Pepe Diokno (Engkwentro) wrote about "poverty porn", as defined to him by a filmmaker friend, being prevalent in Phillipine cinema, particularly the independent filmmaking industry. He says Adolf Alix's Adela, Ralston Jover's Bakal Boys, Jim Libiran's Tribu, and even his own film Engkwentro are a lot like, if not perfect examples of, poverty porn which, in a nutshell, are those films that make its audience "get off" on sad (and inspiring, maybe?) stories of poverty that leaves "that sinking feeling."

Well, if some (if not most) of the audiences "get off" on sad stories of poverty and plight, I think sappy love stories of unrequited/not-so-happy-ending love do the same thing for me. Think Sweet November, Prime, (500) Days of Summer and so on. So that would be called... Unrequited-Loves porn? Bleh. Basta.

I couldn't agree more with Mr. Diokno when he said, "Two centuries ago, it took Rizal's books to spark change. I have no doubt that motion pictures will do that for this age. Today, we read Rizal's books to remember what it was like then. In the future, people will watch films to remember what it is like now."


2. "fash speak" The so-called "fashion-forward people" were asked by Daryl Chang to name "their particular choice of fashion jargon" for 2009. Here are the interesting ones that I may use despite my not-so-fashion-forward status:

aura n. scene in the context of hooking up (Pam Quinones, stylist)

fresh adj. an alternative to fierce, extremely hot (Omar Ermita, makeup artist)

kabog adj. local vernacular that means it beats everything else. Winner. (Rajo Laurel, designer)

scurr v. derivative of scared. Something that's a bit too much to the point of being frightening

wisel adv. a response that expresses no, or I don't, or I can't

3. "Celebrity spawns" If you haven't noticed, today's news is dominated by the sons and daughters (biological, adopted or otherwise). From Jon and Kate Gosselin's (yes, I know they are not that famous but still) eight kids to Maddox and Pax of the Jolie-Pitt brood to Michael Jackson's kids (Paris, Prince Michael I and Prince Michael II) to Baby James to the likes of Frances Bean Cobain (the Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's daughter), Mick Jagger's children and other Rolling Stones babies--what Gino De La Paz calls the "rock 'n roll offspring." All of them made the news last year, and will sure be making 2010's news as well. De La Paz says that the offspring to look out for is, drumroll please, Lourdes Leon, the Material Girl's mini-me. I say Tom Cruise's and Nicole Kidman's "kids" Isabella and Connor are also age-capable of becoming newsmakers for 2010.

There, done.

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You may want to read:

Saturday Soliloquy 1: Must Sees
Saturday Soliloquy 2: Tsk, tsk, tsk
Saturday Soliloquy 3: Quickie
Saturday Soliloquy 4: Meeting the Mother
Saturday Soliloquy 4 (Pahabol): Winners and Losers (Emmys 2009)