Final(e) Thoughts: Less Desperate Housewives

A lot of the TV shows I'm following (or used to follow) will have big endings this season. Since I am big fan of TV shows, making lists and making my opinions known (all for posterity's sake), I will write about various TV shows' season finales, and what I think about them. 



Today I will write about Desperate Housewives' two-episode season finale titled "Give Me the Blame" and "Finishing the Hat".

Housewives play poker, too.

Why This Ending is Big:

1. I missed most of Desperate Housewives. I am a big Gabrielle-Carlos fan so I stopped watching when Gabrielle left Carlos and married that white-haired hunky guy. It's nice to watch my fourth favorite couple--after Barney and Robin, Chuck and Sarah, and Brittany and Santana--together for one last time.

Carlos: Gabby! There you are.
Gabby: Yup, just sitting here on the porch, reading the old... sports section.
Carlos: You hate sports and reading.
Gabby: But I love you and you love sports. So I've started to uh, really get into it.
Carlos: Really. What's your favorite basketball team?
Gabby: The... Turtles.

2. It is the series finale. When I read that the show's current season, Season 8, was going to be its last, I knew I had to watch it. Much like the connection I had with House, I felt that Desperate Housewives (brace yourself because this will sound sappy) is special. Despite its acquired monotony and draggy-ness, I just have to watch it for one last time. I had to know what will happen to the women of Wisteria Lane. Will they be like House and Wilson, spending the rest of their lives (or what's left of it) with each other? Will they be like Chuck and Sarah, whose future although uncertain looks promising?


My Thoughts on Desperate Housewives:

1. I watched Desperate Housewives at a time when Studio 23 was my only source of regular American TV programming. I remember getting into Dawson's Creek (who didn't?!), 7th Heaven, Thieves, which starred John Stamos and Melissa George, and no one else but me seem to remember (or have watched), and Early Chronicle, where the guy gets the newspaper a day early and spends his day trying to (and succeeding) prevent one (or more) accidents reported in the newspaper from happening.  It was one of my first loves, so to speak.

2. Desperate Housewives appealed to me because it was a story about friends and family. All 4 women who played the housewives of Wisteria Lane (Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross, Eva Longoria) are great actresses, and their chemistry despite the constant bickering rumors are equally as great.

3. But, I admit, stories get old and I get bored. I stopped watching it when I skipped-watched (FYI: It's when you watch the first 2 and last 2 episodes of a season) Season 5 (I think) and still got the story, more or less. More importantly, I was not excited to know about the whys and hows--and even the whats--in the gaps in the story I didn't get. It all seemed endless (the girls killing people--most of the time, obliviously--left and right) and became tiring. I had 2 options: (a) Stop watching the show and wait til it gets better or (b) Stop watching it altogether. I obviously chose the latter.


My Thoughts on "Give Me the Blame" and "Finishing the Hat":

1. The two-episode season finale dealt with the past, present and future.

1.a. The first part dealt with the past and the present.

1.a.1 The problems: Bree is in trial for the murder of Gabrielle's stepfather who was really killed by Carlos. Lynette and Tom are on the brink of divorce. Susan has decided to move out of Wisteria Lane but hasn't told her friends yet. Their old neighbor Karen, who I've heard of just now, is dying.

Karen McCluskey

1.a.2 The solution: Karen admits to killing Gabrielle's stepfather with a candlestick. Bree goes free, which Karen's husband, Roy, inspires Tom to say the things needed to be said while he still can; thus, leading to a reunion with Lynette.

1.b The second part dealt with the present and the future. See #4 below.

2. What better way to highlight the past, present and future but to use TV's most used tools for furthering stories: birth and death. The birth of Susan's grandchild and the death of the girls' well-loved neighbor, Karen, served as perfect tools to make the whole story come full circle.

Birth and Death. Beginning and End.

3. There is one golden rule when making the series finale for a TV show: You have to invite the show's former characters and make Season 1 references. The former characters should make an appearance in the last episode, regardless of how they appear and how briefly they do so. Desperate Housewives followed this rule and brought everyone back.

At least I know who Martha Huber, Mike Delfino,  John Rowland the gardener were.

3.1 It was shown how Mary Alice Young moved in Wisteria Lane, confronted by a nosy Martha Huber.

3.2 Mike Delfino, Susan's deceased husband, was mentioned countless of times and even made an appearance as he watched Susan as she drove around Wisteria Lane for one last time.

3.3 Gabrielle's philandering with the gardener, John Rowland, and Carlos' wooing style was both used by Gabrielle and Carlos against each other to prove a point.

3.4 The return of Katherine, who I don't recognize, and the return the ghosts of Wisteria Lane saved the episode around 10 minutes of flashback because seeing the characters made us do the flashbacks in our own minds.

4. In the end, Desperate Housewives is a story of how Wisteria Lane's 4 most desperate housewives became...less desperate.

4.1 Susan met the love of her life and although she lost him their memories together is enough to last her a lifetime.

Susan elated at the birth of her grandchild.

4.2 Lynette becomes a wife, a mother, a CEO and a grandmother.

Lynette reunited with her husband.

4.3 Bree becomes a member of the Kentucky State Legislature.

Bree gets elected to public office.

4.4 Gabrielle has a show on Home Shopping Network and "argued happily ever after" with Carlos (and their 2 daughters) in California.

Gabby and Carlos argued happily ever after.

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You may want to read other Final(e) Thoughts:

How I Met Your Mother Season 7
Chuck Season 5
Glee Season 3 
The Big Bang Theory Season 5
Community Season 3
House Season 8

QNBS: Pushing Daisies

I started the Quest for the Next Best Series to find a replacement for Chuck. Ten TV shows and eleven reviews later, I decided to watch Once Upon A Time. But having the opportunity to criticize anything in a justified manner is so addicting that I have decided to continue my Quest for the Next Best Series. I will not rename it because I don't have enough creativity to think of a new one.

I will adopt the original QNBS method for judging a show. 1. A friend recommends a TV show or I see an interesting review, or hear a sarcastic rant about it in the Internet. 2. I watch two episodes. 3. Write down what I think, Pros-Cons style.

I will add a one-liner (or maybe more) at the end of each QNBS review called The Verdict, which will serve as my verdict, my opinion, on whether you should or shouldn't watch the show.


--------------------------

Many series exist in TV world but today I will write about Pushing Daisies.

Plot: A pie-maker who can bring dead people back to life with a touch (but dead again after the second touch) chooses to not touch (for the 2nd time) his childhood sweetheart who was killed for golden monkeys, and lives with his choice's consequences. It's like Midas touch but with life.


PROS:

1. Good writing. I put this as the show's number 1 Pro because I love witty statements and metaphors masked as smart-ass one-liners or meaningless babble. I loved the writing so much that each Pro will be listed with a line from the show's pilot episode, "Pie-lette" (a wordplay on Pilot, I guess).

I don;t know what Ned's pie place's name wordplays on, though.

2. "Dying is a good enough excuse as any to start living." Some shows use deaths as means to the end  but I liked that Pushing Daisies used deaths as means to a beginning. Promising plot.

Digby, the dog who has--not 9 but--2 lives, the most for any dog.

3. "No one has called me Chuck since you." Ned and Chuck's chemistry is wonderful. Lee Pace and Anna Friel work well on-screen as childhood sweethearts reunited by the other's murder. I also like that the writers didn't overplay (at least in the first episode) the whole I-can't-touch-you-because-you'll-be-dead spiel which made it romantic without being too cheesy, which the writers of The Big Bang Theory did perfectly with Leonard, Penny and Schroedinger's cat.

Chuck's alive!

4. "Listen to you, judgy judge." Ned and Emerson's chemistry was necessary to make the show effective. Yes, granted Lee Pace and Chi McBride are not as good as Danny Pudi and Donald Glover but they're not as worse as the guys from The Brothers Solomon.

The best duos are always a black guy and a white guy.

5. "This is pushing your luck. Well, luck pushed me first." It is a comedy--a little dark and sarcastic at that. I find things really funny if: (a) it is a reference to parodies something else, (b) it features deadpan rumor, (c) it's not supposed to be funny but it is, and (d) it is not trying too hard that it hurts my eyes to watch it. Pushing Daisies has the right amount of funny to be interesting.

6. "Didn't I kill you?" It has suspense, too--or at least the first episode has. I expect the whole reward thing that Ned and Emerson engage in (and I'm suspecting Chuck will join in, too) will generate enough
suspense for each episode.

7. "I wish I can give you an emotional Heimlich." It even has romance! Refer to Ned and Chuck's chemistry 'discussion' above.

Only under this circumstance does holding one's own hand look not pathetic but sweet.

8. "You can't just touch somebody and be done with it." The plot plus everything else I mentioned above is enough to make me interested. Interested enough to watch it again.

9. It has only 22 episodes! Although each episode lasted around 39 minutes long--a bit too long for my 21 minutes per show average--all the other Pros entertained me enough to not notice, or at least don't lose sleep over, the fact that it is 39 minutes long. Since it is a rule of the universe that all things I love must come to an end, Pushing Daisies shall end, too. Its end will come in season 2, episode 13. Knowing the end is foreseeable (and in Pushing Daisies' case, definite) is somewhat comforting.

10. For some reason, Pushing Daisies reminded me of Jeux d'enfants, and I love that movie.


CON:

None. I loved this show too much it only took one episode to inspire elicit ten Pros and no Con from me.


THE VERDICT: Pushing Daisies is promising enough that I can make an exception to my 21 minutes per episode rule...21 more times.

This screen cap is so pretty I just have to put it somewhere.

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You may want to read other QNBS reviews:

Spartacus: Blood and Sand
Freaks and Geeks
Bent
Once Upon A Time
The Inbetweeners
Game of Thrones 2
Sherlock
Suits
Game of Thrones 1
The IT Crowd
Rizzoli & Isles
Community
Awkward
New Girl
Outsourced

Lesbian Movies Color-Quality Spectrum [Updated]

Thought Catalog's Light to Dark Mood Spectrum, which ranked our favorite TV shows' moods from the lightest to the darkest--Lightest is Parks and Recreation and the darkest is Breaking Bad, inspired me to make my own color spectrum. I have ranked all the lesbian-themed/ -centric movies/TV shows I have watched and ranked them according to the Best to Worst.

Gray Matters 
Saving Face 
Imagine Me & You
I Can't Think Straight
So Close
Show Me Love
The Kids Are All Right
Boys Don't Cry
But I'm a Cheerleader
Glee
Rizzoli & Isles
Out at the Wedding
He's Such A Girl
Gia
Chloe
Go Fish
Elena Undone


Gray Matters (2006)  - A story of twenty-something career-driven (read: single) woman named Gray whose closeness with her brother Sam (they're often mistaken as a couple) leads them to find partners for each other. And they do. I briefly wrote about this movie before when I first watched it. I remember having coerced my brother to come watch this movie with me in the theater. I find the movie very...natural and the story not forced, unlike most lesbian-themed movies I have watched or heard of. It's very light and heart-warming. I loved how the film suggests the ending, and gives the viewers room to imagine/work out an ending for ourselves for Gray. I really liked (okay, fine, I cried a little over) the elevator scene between Gray and Sam. The chemistry between Heather Graham and Tom Cavanaugh played a big factor in making this movie the best lesbian-themed movie I've seen...so far.

Sam to Gray: ‎"Don't expect to end up with your first crush. It's like marrying at age 12."

Saving Face (2004) - The writers of Saving Face may very well be mind readers for they correctly--almost accurately--depicted the lesbian-coming out story for Asian women. I liked the film because it depicts the life of a lesbian Asian woman, which is very different from the European or American culture in the sense that Asians are highly family-oriented. Wil's decision at the end of the film was highly motivated by her mother's and grandfather's approval of her sexuality. Much like Gray's and Sam's touching elevator scene, I find the scene wherein Wil came out to her mom while she was watching a taped episode of her favorite TV show very heart-warming and real.

Wil: Ma, I love you. And I'm gay.
Wil's mom: How can you say those two things at once? How can you tell me you love  me...then throw that in my face? I am not a bad mother. My daughter is not gay.
Wil: Then maybe I shouldn't be your daughter.

I loved it that Wil's homosexuality unfolded along with her mother's struggle with extra-marital pregnancy and relationship with a younger man. Also, it didn't hurt that the movie had a happy ending.

Imagine Me & You (2005) - What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? The undertones, the language, the heart-warming feel of the movie propelled this film to number 3 of my list. I would've made it number two if not for Saving Face's storytelling. Seeing Matthew Goode (as Hec the husband) cry and deliver his speech about having to move because of the unstoppable force (read: Luce) broke my heart. Lucky for Rachel and Luce, Hec was understanding enough to well, understand their relationship, and give way. He could've easily become the villain but he wasn't. Story-wise, I loved the comedic, rom-com-ish vibe the film has. My problem with most lesbian-/gay-themed movies is that they try too hard. Some really goes beyond serious and turns freaky (see Elena Undone) while others appear too fun that they turn out dumb (Out at the Wedding). This one's just right. 

I Can't Think Straight (2008) - If Imagine Me & You and Saving Face had a child it would be I Can't Think Straight. And Elena Undone will be its jealous, underachieving cousin. Like Imagine Me & You, it features a wedding (or something near it), a supportive sister and a supportive jilted lover. Like Saving Face, it focused on the characters' family values as an important consideration in ones' decision to come out as a homosexual. Also, in both films a considerable amount of time has passed before the characters end up together for good. Time was used for the characters to settle their issues on their own before they decide to be with each other.

Tala and Leyla are a lovely couple. 

So Close (2002) - An Asian cop movie featuring three kick-ass women doing wonderful-'what-the-heck-was-that?!' stunts. This movie's story focuses more on the sisters Ai Lin and Ai Quan's relationship. The storyline about Ai Quan's affection/infatuation towards Police Detective Kong Yat Hung may be considered a secondary, somewhat minor plot but I appreciated how the writers played their cards right, and did not go overboard with it. They didn't overdo the homosexuality plot but did not ignore it either. They highlighted it at the right moment--at the end. Like Gray Matters, this movie's ending proved how great the power of suggestion is.

So Close: Using the power of suggestion.

Show Me Love (1998) - If Rachel and Luce or Tala and Leyla met in their teens, this would be their story. The story of Elin and Agnes is simple, honest and believable. It's a story of self-acceptance and unadulterated puppy love amidst all that teen angst. Swedish movies (or the ones I've seen so far) have a raw quality in them that amazes me. The scene where Elin explains to Agnes how she makes chocolate drinks is so... poignant (yes, I had to look up what poignant means).

Who knew that making chocolate milk drinks can be so meaningful.

The Kids Are All Right (2010) - For being a story about a lesbian couple raising two grown kids (one is going to college) and, possibly, dealing with mid-life crises, this movie deserves to be on the list. Notwithstanding some people's disappointment because it did not live up to the hype the movie got during the 2010 Oscar season, I still liked it. Aside from proving that Julianne Moore can't help but cheat in almost every movie I see her in, this film provides an insight, a preview, into what happens to lesbian couples if they manage to transcend all the barriers society have set up to prevent them from having a family. Gone are the days when lesbian-themed movies are all about coming out or puberty or sex. I think we are moving towards the era of exploring the possibility (or for some, the historical inevitability) of lesbian couples being married, or starting a family.

Boys Don't Cry (1999) - I personally did not like the 'feel' of the movie but because it came out in 1999, I must pay homage (naks!) to this movie, and put this on my list. Just because. Aside from Swank's career, it started---no, it opened the doors for lesbian-themed stories to be written, discussed and watched.

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) - Sending your suspected gay daughter to a We-Will-Flush-the-Gay-Out-of-You camp to, well, flush the gay out of her may seem funny and trivial at first but when we think about it, the True Directions stands for the oppressive 1990s society which aimed to correct homosexuals rather than accept them. But I'm a Cheerleader succeeds because it is honest with what it wants to achieve and does so in the simplest, uncomplicated way it can.

Glee (2009 - present) - For a teen show directly geared towards making high school look relatable and livable (with a lot of singing), I praise this show's writers for tackling gay issues, and having gay characters in Kurt, Blaine, Santana and Brittany. Glee may have failed in writing consistencies but I believe it deserves praise for having gay characters. 

Glee's Team Gay: Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Brittany

Many have praised the Santana story line development, which has highlighted Naya Rivera's acting skills. I appreciated how, again, the writers did not try to overkill the story in Season 2. They slowly but surely planted the seeds during the season and sowed the fruits in the end. Others did not like the way Santana's coming out story was handled or how less and less the gay couples progressed once they've been in a relationship. Glee is not perfect.

Rizzoli & Isles (2010 - present) - A cop and a doctor (forensic, I think) team up to fight crime. I would have liked this series if not for its, or the writers', denial that the characters are not gay but continuing to put subtexts or insinuations that the two female leads may be gay. I think they're underplaying the story (or the possibility) too much to the point that it all seems weird that no one in Jane and Maura's circle of family, friends and work colleagues seem to wonder, or ask them, if they're into each other? I know, these friends and family are not...as corrupted or malicious as our mind is (hahaha!)...but really, no one even wonders or jokes about it.

Out at the Wedding (2007) - Like So Close, this movie centers on the relationship between estranged sisters Lexie and Jeannie. It starts out funny but ends weird because, I feel, it tries to accomplish a lot but miserably fails. 

Out at the Wedding's Team Gay

He's Such A Girl (2009) - This movie had potential (I suggest you watch the trailer only and stop there) but as the story progressed, everything just turned weird. It was creepy enough that Whitney (yes he's a guy) was not wondering why his girl friend, Taylor, continues to hang out with that Annoying Blonde Guy, who's obviously in love with her. Then, there's the "hand-massages" and blackmail. Then, the crazy pastor/father and all the Bible quoting. Then, to top it all off, the creepy blonde guy becomes a maniac and tries to drama-ized everything by ratting her out to the crazy pastor/father. Super weird. Finally, I think the movie gives out the (wrong) impression that being gay makes you: (a) look creepy (see the heavy eyeliner-ed, emo-looking Tara) or (b) become selfish (Taylor's sudden need for space and her harsh treatment of Whitney [wallet-throwing, come on?!]).

Gia (1998) - I am and always will be on Team Jolie but, hey, like Glee, she's not perfect. We know that with how well her life is going right now (How many kids does she and Brad have? Ten?) the rules of karma dictate that she has lived a not-so-super life before. For some, Gia is a good movie but the way I see it, it's a sloppy movie about a gay director (or was she a photographer? an actress?) lived, or tried to, with a lot of issues surrounding her. To be frank, I think this film is a lame excuse to see Angelina Jolie naked, and have passionate sex with an equally hot woman.

Chloe (2009) - Aside from Julianne Moore, I think this movie has nothing else going for it. It gives the impression that lesbian affection is dangerous. Actually, regardless of sexual orientation, I believe that too much of a good thing is always bad but...come on, a teen lesbian ruining a family? That is just creepy.

Go Fish (1994) - This one was weird/bad for many things: (1) the bad looking actors/actresses, (2) so-so story, (3) it's in black and white! and (4) lack of character development. If anything, this movie's significance to me has lead me to be critical of the movies I watch, regardless of the topic. The only thing I liked about this film is the ending spiel because it can be applied to just about anything... love, women, men, career, life. 

"Don't fear too many things, it's dangerous. 

Don't say so much, you'll ruin everything. 

Don't worry yourself into a corner; and just don't think about it so much. 

The girl you're gonna meet doesn't look like anyone you know. And when you meet her, your toes might tingle or might suppress a yawn. It's hard to say.  

Don't box yourself in; don't leave yourself wide open. 

Don't think about it every second but just don't let yourself forget. The girl is out there. Go fish."

Elena Undone (2010) - This movie is nothing more than being that movie that featured the longest on-screen lesbian kiss in mainstream film-making. I thought the Internet hype about this movie would mean or, at least, amount to something but, no, it's just disappointing. What disappoints/freaks me out the most (aside from the whole movie, hehe) is the ending. A married guy agrees to donate his sperm for the artificial insemination of his best friend, who is super lonely because she recently divorced her longtime pastor husband because she's gay and got dumped by her lesbian lover. Everything worked out well between Elena and Peyton but the idea of sharing a child with another couple is... super weird. Is it just me or do you also find this weird/creepy? The movie could've had a better ending but, no, the writers choose to make everyone (but the pastor/soon-to-be ex husband) happy and share a baby. This is weird. Weird, weird, weird.

running

running running running
you keep on
doing doing doing
everything always keep on
coming coming coming
back to you.

QNBS: Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Chuck has ended, and after 11 reviews, I decided to watch Once Upon A Time. But having the opportunity to criticize anything in a justified manner is so addicting that I have decided to continue my Quest for the Next Best Series. I will not rename it because I don't have enough creativity to think of a new one.

I will adopt the original QNBS method for judging a show. 1. A friend recommends a TV show or I see an interesting review, or hear a sarcastic rant about it in the Internet. 2. I watch two episodes. 3. Write down what I think, Pros-Cons style.

--------------------------

Many series exist in TV world but today I will write about Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Spartacus

Plot: A Thracian man goes to war, gets captured, loses his wife, trains as a gladiator and sparks a revolution.


PROS:

1. The cast delivered fairly well acting performances. 

1.1 Andy Whitfield as Spartacus. It was too bad he died of non-Hodgkins lymphoma and had to be replaced by Liam McIntyre.

Andy Whitfield as the better Spartacus

1.2 John Hannah as Lentulus Batiatus. The role was supporting, at best, but John Hannah portrayed the character really well.

Batiatus

1.3 Lucy Lawless as Lucretia. I didn't recognize the remnants--if there was any--of Xena, which was good because I feared Xena when I was younger. She brought class to Lucretia when another actress wouldn't have.

Husband-wife: Lucretia and Batiatus

1.4 Viva Bianca as Ilithyia. Second to Lawless, Viva Bianca provided the necessary strong woman character. I loved her chemistry with Lucretia in their few scenes together.

Ilithyia

1.5 Craig Parker as Gaius Glaber. I loved how scheming Glaber was.

2. Everyone looked good on the eyes... 

Craig Parker's Beautiful Face: I. Can't. Get. Enough. Of. 

And hers, too.

3. Roman history. Gladiators. It reminded me of my Area Studies roots. 


CONS:

1. For a young barrio lass (read: me) Spartacus is an excuse for soft pornography. Although some of the sexual scenes were nicely videoed, I felt some were unnecessary.

2. The scenes were obviously shot at a studio with blue screen and what-not. It was obvious how everything was so up close and the background looked...so fake.

Everything looked fake, compared to Game of Thrones.

3. The fact that I had to watch the two episodes twice to be reminded what I thought and how I felt about this show is a setback in itself. Goes to show how forgettable all of it seemed to me. Well, the sex scenes I can do without.

Blood, blood, blood.

THE VERDICT: 
This is a guy's show. All the  blood, the sex and the mystery will surely be a hit with the boys. 


-----------------------------------
You may want to read other QNBS reviews:


Freaks and Geeks
Bent
Once Upon A Time
The Inbetweeners
Game of Thrones 2
Sherlock
Suits
Game of Thrones 1
The IT Crowd
Rizzoli & Isles
Community
Awkward
New Girl
Outsourced

Saturday Soliloquy 7: "The Ultimate "Jologs" Quiz of 2012"

One of the reasons I love Saturdays is because I get to read The Philippine Star without any disturbances. Back in 2009, when I was just starting blogging and have nothing else to write about, I read the Saturday paper (the Supreme fold, to be exact) and reacted to the  articles I found interesting. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have found things to write about and forgot about Saturday Soliloquies. Because of the recent onslaught of my mortal enemy, acute gastroenteritis, I had to come home to Laguna to rest for three days and let my family take care of me. Aw, how sweet. This three-day rest has given me the time to read the Saturday paper and, well, revive Saturday Soliloquy.

Of all the articles in today's Supreme fold, I was most amused with "The Ultimate "Jologs" Quiz of 2012"--so amused I decided to re-post the whole thing here. 

"The Ultimate "Jologs" Quiz of 2012"

1. Name all 8 characters in the original Tabing-Ilog barkada. One point per character name.

2. Who said this line in the TV series Maging Sino Ka Man: "Yes I am slut, but I am the best slut in town!" And to whom? One point each. Plus one point if you can gaya her acting.

3. Angelika dela Cruz was launched in what movie, co-starring George Ortega and Mike Magat? She was known then simply as "Angelika".

4. What is the original timeslot of Ang TV?

5. What are the names of Kevin Cosme's 4 kids in Home Along Da Riles?

6. What is the name of Kevin's boss Hillary's gay assistant? Played by which actor? Clue: His name is nakaka-Philip Phillips. One point each.

7. What is the title of eccentric TV show on unTV hosted by Tado and Erning? Tama!

8. Supply the next 14 words following this line from the movie Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?: "Oh yes, kaibigan mo ako. Kaibigan mo lang ako." One point for every correct word.

8.1 Who said the line in #8? To whom?

9. What is the full name of Waks, played by Bobby Andrews, in T.G.I.S.?

10.  Who is Dianne's, played by Judy Ann Santos, ka-love team in Gimik? Clue: He was played by Rico Yan.

11. Who was the gay host of the late morning show Katok mga Misis, who usually talked with a live parrot on air?

12. Which comics, or should we say komiks, did Pitit and Planet Op Da Eyps appear in?

13. Name the complete title of Judy Ann Santos' first TV series. Clue: It's not Mara Clara. Incomplete answer scores zero. Sorry, we're harsh like that.

14. Which afternoon TV show has the theme song "Saan ka ba patungo? Bakit ka nag-iisa?" Uyyy, kinanta nya. Sorry, no points for singing.

15. Who is the uncle with a Lucky 7 Club? One point for that, and additional one point if you are a member.

16. What is the title of the morning talk show hosted by Michelle Van Eimeren and Bing Loyzaga?

17. Who was Pardina in the movie Pardina at ang mga Duwende? Who is the duwende who fell in love with her? Clue: They are one of the more popular love teams from That's Entertainment.

18. Donita Rose played which character in Ober da Bakod?

19. Which game was sponsored by Yakult in Family Kwarta o Kahon on RPN 9?

20. Who played Anna, Karen and Nina in GMA7's afternoon show, Anna Karenina? One point for every character, in the correct order as their character names appear in the title.

21. Which love-themed TV show on ABS-CBN2 was hosted by Buboy Garovillo?

22. Supply the next 7 words following this line popularized by an astrologer in the early morning show Alas Singko Y Medya: "Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating kapalaran. Gabay lamang ito." Three points for supplying all 7 words.

22.1 Who is the astrologer who said the lines in #22? Clue: Her segment on Alas was called "Syzgy".

23. What was Priscilla Almeda's first screen name?

24. Name Ms. Maritius who became famous for saying, "Take it, take it!" at the 1994 Manila Film Festival scam. Wrong spelling wrong. Update: She committed suicide in India in 2010.

25. John Lloyd Cruz, Baron Geisler and which other actor comprised the teenage trio Koolits?


So how jologs are you?

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You may want to read:

Saturday Soliloquy 1: Must Sees
Saturday Soliloquy 2: Tsk, tsk, tsk
Saturday Soliloquy 3: Quickie
Saturday Soliloquy 4: Meeting the Mother
Saturday Soliloquy 4 (Pahabol): Winners and Losers (Emmys 2009)
Saturday Soliloquy 5: Poverty porn, fash speak, and celebirty spawns
Saturday Soliloquy 6: Why I'm DEFINITELY loving the Saturdays of 2010

What the hell are regionals?: 15 Glee Club Truths

Community's "Regional Holiday Music" (Season 3 Episode 10) was like a parody of Glee. In approximately 21 minutes Community was able to establish "facts" (truths if you may) about glee clubs that Glee has established (or tried, trying to) in its three-season run (so far).

1. Glee clubs makes the holidays more... gleeful, especially Christmas. Also, glee clubs must have at least one member who wears a Santa costume.

Check out at Annie and Abed's hand-holding. Hmm.

2. In order for glee clubs to "succeed", they must have a foe who either (1) rats them out to the "authorities" for copyright infringement, or (2) instructs her Cheerios to ruin the glee club's purple pianos around school.

The authority that is Chang.

3. Glee club instructors are manipulative. Mr. Rad manipulated Abed the same way Mr. Schue manipulated Finn to join glee club.

Almost always, glee club instructors hide their manipulative nature in order to lure "poor" kids to join their club.

4. Glee club instructors always wear vests.

Seriously, what's with glee club instructors and vests?! #GleeMysteries

5. It takes one lonely person to see the "light" that is glee club. For Glee it was, of course, Rachel Berry; for Community, it was Abed.

I was surprised Danny Pudi can sing--not like Rachel Berry but a little better than Mike Chang.

6. Glee clubs must rap, or at least have "resident" rappers. For Glee's New Directions the residents were Artie, Blaine and Santana, with Mr. Schue and Finn doing occasional hideous rapping; for Community, it was Troy and Abed.

Troy and Abed's rap was so much better than all of the Glee kids' rap performances.

7. Glee clubs must do mash-ups. 

This is the Golden Rule of glee clubs.

8. In glee clubs, there's always someone who joins it with intentions to ruin it from within. For Glee, it was Quinn, Santana and Brittany; for Community it was Troy.

Troy: Jehovah's Most Secret Witness

9. Glee clubs must have members who wear sweaters. In Glee, it was Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Artie and, for a time, Santana, Brittany and Quinn. In Community's case, almost everyone wore a sweater.

The Glee kids' sweaters are better than Community's.

10. Glee clubs must have a piano guy who has sandy, blonde hair and wears glasses, whose presence is never intended to be felt. Sometimes, in Glee's case, the piano guy is referred to.

At least the Glee guy has a name, Brad.

11. Glee clubs must perform a number that involves a disco ball at least once.

It's not how big your (disco) ball is but how you use it.

12. Glee clubs must have at least one tone-deaf member who gets rejected (or at least shouted at) by the glee club instructor himself.

The Battle of the Tone-Deafs: Britta vs. Sugar

13. In glee club, the member who is of African-American origin black must sing with a choir--preferrably a religious song. For Glee is was Mercedes; for Community it was Shirley.

LOL at the curly-haired girl on Shirley's left.

14. A tall jock, who initially hated glee club, must lead the glee club. For Glee, it was Finn; for Community, it was Jeff.

LOL at Mr. Schue's reaction to Finn's speech. 

15. Glee clubs must perform at the cafeteria to attract new members, and must have three-level seats in their "choir rooms."

Seeing these similarities which can't be coincidences, I knew Regional Holiday Music is a parody of Glee.